Pre nupt blues


#1

8 years ago, a wonderful thoughtful man pursued me relentlessly, though I was married with two small children. It was a very unhappy marriage, with verbal and physical abuse.
This wonderful man went through so much for us to be together…and we were so in love. He convinced me that he wanted to treat me the way I should be treated, and to show
the children how their mother should be respected. We were married 5 years ago…but not without a pre nupt. It was never an issue until my angry ex attempted to extort this man…
So, 11 days before we were to wed, after the children and I had moved in, he came to me with tears in his eyes and asked me to sign this pre nupt. It was to be ripped up in 1 year…
and it was only to protect his lucrative business and the families of his employees. I was having wine while cooking dinner…and I signed with no hesitation…completely trusting
this person and knowing that our love for one another had already conquered so much. Five years later, and the only thin ripped up is me. The past year he has been a completely
different person…has withdrawn from myself and the children, stays gone all the time… I suspect he could be having an affair, but I have no money for a PI. He never wanted
me to work, nor had I worked in my previous marriage. For over 20 years I’ve been a homemaker. He’s kept me on a tight budget, with just enough for groceries gas and meds.
He says he fell out ouf love, and that’s the only explanation I get? My heart is shattered, and I feel that I’m having a nervouos breakdown. I have no money for an attorney
no money to provide a home for the children and my self, no education, no skills, went bankrupt during the first divorce so that he would not have to carry my part of the debt
from the first marriage, but he never helped me build my credit back…always said we were fine wihtout it. I guess I wonder…since I did not have an attorney, since the pre nupt
was done less than 30 days prior to the wedding, since he told me he couldn’t marry me if I didn’t sign it, since I have found out that he misrepresented some things in it to me…
am I really facing destitution now, or is there a possibility the pre nupt could be unenforcable? He has lots, and we’ve lived very comfortably…


#2

The timing of the prenup and disclosure are factors in whether or not it is enforceable, and however, under the circumstances I believe a court would find the agreement to be valid as it was signed more than a week prior to the wedding, and the circumstances do not warrant a finding of duress. I am so sorry to hear you have been put in such a bad situation.


#3

In NC, aren’t you supposed to have a pre nupt at least 30 days prior to the wedding?
I had no representation of my own, no money for any…and he told me it wouldn’t be necessary. We would rip it up in one year…no witnesses…
I feel like it was coerced, for he told me he couldn’t marry me if I didn’t sign it? I was already dependent on him…he even paid for my divorce with my first husband.
All assets weren’t disclosed…he misrepresented to me that it was common to sign off to any rights to the business…
and I’ve since found out that is not the case with his partners wife, or his last wife?
It’s very one sided, including no alimony…and he won’t even get me a copy of it!
I haven’t worked in over 20 years…will my children and I be destitute? He is worth millions…???
I’m having to wait for a dr appt unless I commit myself, but I feel I’m having a nervous breakdown!
He was dx bipolar…and the whole relationship has been on meds off meds…but he doted on me and loved me. We got along beautifully until the summer…
that’s when I noticed him pulling away from me and the children…he refuses to admit he’s bipolar, and he has a new doc, a physicians assisitant, that tells him he’s not?
He’s on the wrong meds…but I’ve had to accept I can’t change that…he’s 53 and he has to want to do it…
Can you give me some hope please?


#4

There is no requirement that the prenup be signed 30 days prior to the wedding.
You could attempt to have the agreement rendered unenforceable based on non voluntariness, however in my opinion the facts of the case do not support that finding. In your last post you indicated you signed the agreement willingly.

A better avenue would be to have the agreement rendered unenforceable based on his non disclosure.

The statute also states that a provision which eliminates spousal support and that elimination causes one party to be eligible for public assistance at the time of separation or martial dissolution a court, notwithstanding the terms of the agreement, may require the other party to provide support to avoid such eligibility.