Do you and your stbx have an agreement in reguards to your son? If you truely feel your son is in danger, act. Contact your attorney or DSS. Make sure to include any info on the rapit weight loss and changes in personality. These could be from a medical condition, stress, or even substance use. Contact your son’s school, see what effect this has had on his grades and behavior. Document everyting. You may never need it, but it is good to have dates and specific events if you are asked about it. I wish you good luck. My son was 9 when my ex and I seperated. Be prepared for him to take “her side”. It is nothing personal against you. My son did this with my ex because he saw I had my stuff together and his daddy was the one who “lost it”.

That’s an excellent point. My stepsons have told us numerous times that they want to live with us full time. We won’t let them make that decision until they are older. For now, given the choice to go to their mother’s they usually do because they said that she cries alot and doesn’t have anything to do if they aren’t there. That may change if her and her boyfriend work things out…
Document whatever you can. Make sure your son knows that if a situation like that comes up again, he should call you. Especially if he’s worried.
I’m a little confused about one detail…you said that your stbx moved in with her boyfriend and she’s hiding it? Or your stbx moved in with the other lady’s boyfriend?

I’m not sure what your question is. I believe you are stating that your son witnessed a fight between your soon to be ex wife and a boss of hers.

I never recommend court as the first line of defense unless there is an immediate risk to a child or property being destroyed. It appears that this incident while serious, may be isolated. Have you tried talking with her about it and seeing what her opinion of the situation is. If she acknowledges the situation was inappropriate and does not intend to do it again, then it might be best to monitor the situation closely and see what happens. If she denies she has done anything wrong, you may need to seek court intervention.

If this is an isolated incident there may not be much that a court will do to intervene. If you have attorneys then you need to tell your attorney and see what they recommend regarding custody. If you already have a custody order and your spouse’s behavior is becoming erratic and dangerous to your child then you need to do what you can to protect your child and that may include changing your custody order.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

I found out that my stbx and the lady she works with went to fists yesterday in front of my 10 year old son. This was all do to the fact that the other lady told my stbx that she was not going to hide that she had moved in with her boyfriend any longer. What recourse if any is there that I can do about this. We were married for 18 years and I never saw her raise her hand at anyone. She has lost quite a bit of weight in a short period of time and I am worried for the safety of my son. Any help would be appreciated.