Questions about separation

It sounds to me as though she has lied to her attorney. I don’t know of an attorney that would advise their client to lie about this. I think that the earliest that a divorce could be granted would be December and that is only if you were informed when you left for Iraq that this was the start of a separation with the intention of divorce. For your own sake and that of your children, DO NOT agree to this. It is perjury and your divorce will not be legal if the year and day requirement is not met. I’m sorry to hear that your attempts at reconciling are not working. I would suggest that you retain an attorney because it doesn’t look like it’s going to be resolved by you being a nice guy. You need to protect your children and yourself from further chaos.


Would the Soldiers & Sailors Relief Act apply to this situation? I would go to Legal Aid/JAG and ask about that, if you don’t have your own lawyer. My husband is USMC and our lawyer just used that act to block his ex-wife’s lawyer from bringing even more bogus nonsense to the court while he’s in Iraq. For her to take this legal action would mean back-dating it to a time when you were unavailable to defend yourself due to military service, which is what the SSRA was created to protect against.


Don’t know about the S&SA, but my lawyer on base said that the earliest that could be in evidence is December, although we’ll see what my family law attorney says for sure.

Stepmom, the nice guy thing wasn’t working…we had lunch where I presented to her my plan for change, it was pretty well thought out. She didn’t bite, because she’s still having her affair. So I told the guy’s commander. She’s quite angry that he’s getting into trouble, that was a causal factor in why some of this is going on.

I’m using Plan A from marriage builders, so far its been textbook, I just don’t want her to be able to railroad me. She also threatened to move out of state, which in accordance with my plan I told her to go ahead. If she took the kids, I’d have her dead to rights and if she left I think her misunderstanding of NC law would just be compounded by residency and individual state laws (prob. SC).

Thanks again!

  • Dave

Before you get divorced make sure all financial thing are tking care of ,make sure Equitable Distribution is addressed the best thing you can do is get an Attorney so they can make sure all your interest are handled leagally and fair.

It is not legitimate to lie about your date of separation. Your date of separation is the date that the two of you began to live in separate residences and one of you intended for it to be permanent.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

So here’s the deal, my wife is trying to rush the divorce as much as possible. She wants me to date a separation agreement as of June of last year. We lived together until December 06 which is when I left for Iraq. I returned in March 07, and she left the house the same day.

What do I do? Her attorney says that this is a legit thing to do, she’s being really aggressive (having an affair). I don’t want the divorce at all, and if it must happen I want my year of separation.

Any information would be helpful.

  • Dave