Refusal to take kids


#1

I have a temporary order for custody. It has been in place for 3 1/2 yrs. My ex is now refusing to take the kids in July on a weekend that is his. Can he do this? I am not able to keep them, due to work. Besides, he never asked…just wrote an email that he will not be taking them.
I find this odd that he can do this. In this case, I want to send them up to another state with my parents for a visit. Can I just do it and not give him his days?? I am considering doing this at the time he is refusing to take them, that way I have someone who can watch them. Can I get into trouble for this? Basically, they would be in a different state for 2 weeks visiting my family while I am not there except for one of the weeks. If I don’t send them, I will not have childcare.


#2

Yes, the court views visitation as a privilege and there is no recourse if he does not take advantage of the same. If he has said he will not be taking his visitation that weekend, you may make other arrangements for the children that weekend.


#3

Do I understand this correctly? You can be given certain days and weekends and choose not to take it and inconvenience the other party and that is ok. Yet, if I don’t give him the kids on his designated day which follows his weekend he chose not to take them, I can get into trouble? If he doesn’t take them, I need to send them out of state with their grandmother who can take care of them for me (I will be working and haven’t anyone to watch them). Seems I have to choose between my job and my kids. I lose the job because the ex is uncooperative and nothing seems to happen. This seems very unfair to me.


#4

Yes, you have it right, I know it seems unfair, but the court will not force the secondary custodian to take their visits.


#5

KBlack03 - just my two cents’ worth but in going through all of this, including going through being a domestic abuse survivor, I’m finding that the law sides with those who have money or who are the most evil among evil people. I have yet to witness any good coming from any of these proceedings where the RIGHT THING was ACTUALLY done and money wasn’t the main driving force.

My daughters do NOT want to go with their father every other weekend. They cry CONSTANTLY and are sick to their stomach when the time rolls around. Can anything be done about it? No, of course not because I have no money. However, he has hidden assets, has had me followed, hired a PI, had my car tagged with a GPS but he only has to pay the bare minimum of child support because his ‘DOCUMENTED INCOME’ shows $10/hour. No one bothers to find the remaining assets or force him to provide his financial information even though it was required during discovery. I provided mine, he did not. Nothing was done to him. He can continue to harrass me and the children and yet nothing is done. The ONLY good thing I’ve seen through this whole fiasco is the existence of this website.

Sorry for the negativity but the more I go through this and the more court cases I see with respect to divorce, kids and domestic abuse playing a part of it and yet nothing being done, it just sickens me.


#6

Why is it that I will go to jail if I don’t give the kids to him, and yet he doesn’t go to jail for NOT taking them and taking
parental responsibility. Why is this not abandonment. This seems very unfair, unjust, and just plain crazy. Can I take them without
his permission to another state to my parents to care for them since he refuses to care for them on his assigned days??? Am I expected
to risk my job because he refuses. Wow…this is so unfair! I am truly shocked that nobody has ever fought to have these laws changed
and the slack parent dealt with. No wonder nobody takes the law seriously these days. Court orders mean less and less and those of us
who follow them are punished, while the other is rewarded. How sad this is!


#7

The courts view visitation as a privilege and not an obligation. If his refusal to take the children causes you to find alternative care at a cost, you can move to modify child support if the cost would increase the child support figure substantially.