Visitation rights


#1

Sadly, the only way to enforce the visitation schedule is to take it back to court. If this is the only time that this has happened it’s likely that this is why the attorney suggested not taking it to court. It would cost a lot of money and be time consuming on all parts for just this one time.
If it is a continuing problem of not getting visitations at all then the only way for things to change or be enforced is for the court to do this.
They have a good relationship that has allowed them the freedom to work together. Maybe they should considered switching weekends permanently if these visits continually fall on the father’s weekend? That way there should be no more question of trading weekends…
My husband and his ex are continually working around her work schedule and things that she wants to do. We have switched our schedule with the kids about 4 times in the last year, though I did suggest that we not switch anymore unless it’s a day or so here and there for special reasons or circumstances.


#2

Consider these facts:

  1. As a man, you have no rights anymore when inside the walls of the family courts.

  2. Once you enter those courtroom doors, you turn your life over to the state. They then take charge of your earnings, assets and everything in your life.

  3. Once lawyers get involved, you will be driven into bankrutpcy.

  4. Your children will suffer Parental Alienation at the hands of the parents (induced by 2 lawyers who insist there must be a winner and a loser in court) causing them deep psychological problems for years to come.

I highly recommend you read the new book “Taken Into Custody” by Dr. Stephen Baskerville to understand how the divorce and child custody industry is driven by the almighty dollar and how so many people profit from your misery.

The American Family is under attack by our own government and we the people just sit back and let it happen.

This has got to change!

quote:
[i]Originally posted by Cathy Craig[/i] [br]After a 8 year marriage a mother and father of 2 children divorce and have a separation aggreement and child custody agreement, but no court orders. The child custody arrangements have gone well for almost 2 years with the mother having primary custody and the father having every other weekend visits along with liberal flexibly on both parent's sides for extra visits. But during the last 15 months, the mother's mother (the grandmother) has come to visit from overseas - each time for 10 days - starting on a Tuesday thru the following Thursday and it always coincides with the father's weekend, not the mother's. The father has kindly "traded" weekends to accomodate these arrangements. In the past there has been adequate prior notice to the father about the needed changes - at least 4 weeks. This most recent visit was announced about 10 days prior to the arrival and it happened to be scheduled when the father had a long standing out-of-town trip planned with his children during his regular weekend. The mother refused to allow him to have his children during this weekend, his regularly schedule weekend - and he had to cancel. The father did not feel the need to notify the mother of this trip due to it being his regular weekend. And according to his family law lawyer and also the videos on this site - he had/has no legal recourse. Can this be true? It blows a person's mind. So I am asking - it this correct - his only choice to enforce a visitation aggreement is to get a court order? His lawyer seems to be discouraging this. saying it will be costly, lengthy and possibly have a worse result. His lawyer admits that the law and the court system are on the mother's side and she will get her way more than likely.(Just a side note - the father has faithfully paid his child support and alimony the entire time. And there are no issues of abuse or any other issues to question either of their parenting skills)

Cathy Craig



#3

This is in response to FJLdad’s post.

  1. I am a momma so I do not know the dad’s perspective. From my perspective… My ex did not contest me having sole custody. As it reads in the divorce… he gets visitation. It does not state a number of days or specific times. My son goes to his father’s house every weekend. I do not interfere in their relationship. There is a school holiday on Monday… my son will be with his father that day too. Visitation was not settled in court. BUT on the issue of child support, which HAD to be settled by the court because my ex refused to pay, my ex is in arrears of 8700.00+. We have gone to court every 4 or 5 months during the last two years because he has made NO payment other than the ones in the court room… one time the judge order him to pay 200.00 within two weeks. My ex chooses not to work and claims a medical reason. He has filed and been denied disability. There are options for him to work that do not require physical labor. He is a highly trained diagnostic mechanic. He has a full shop outside his home. He works at that shop, but no longer has a business that shows income. The judge routinely makes him pay a pittance but no real threat of lasting concequences of not paying child support. I am responsible for ALL expenses reguarding my son. From school lunches to wrestling shoes (starting at 50.00 a pair), to clean clothes, field trips, school supplies, “extras” to the necessities of food, heat, shelter. What “rights” do I have? I have the right to take him to court to show cause… but what happens there? Nothing. I love my son and I will do what is necessary to give him a childhood. I will do without so my son can be a kid and not have to worry about if he “can” participate in a school activity because he needs equipment. He is in no way a “gimmie” kids so when he wants to participate I will make it happen.

  2. It is not when you enter the courtroom that you turn over your life’s earnings. It is when you have children. They require a lifelong commitment in providing for them. They did not ask to be born, and you may not have planned on them, but the fact remains that they are here and the parents are responsible.

  3. Lawyers do cost alot of money. There is no dispute there. But you can midigate your expenses by picking battles and realizing you can’t always have it your way.

  4. Children do not suffer parental alienation by lawyers… that is done by the parents who are too wraped up in their own anger and grief to see they are hurting their kids. The whole cutting off your nose to spite your face complex. What parents fail to realize is that their children are 1/2 the other parent. In order to hate the other parent they also hate 1/2 their kids. The lawyers may fuel this anger and sense of injustice, but it is the parent wo chooses to drag the child in the middle.

I am not saying that fathers are given the same consiteration as mothers in all courts. The old ideal that the momma is “better” is still preprogramed in the minds of people. There is a happy median, if you look for it. You may not like it, but it will spare the children the trauma of being pulled apart. I do not like that I have to be 100% financially responsible for my child. There is no alternitive in my case. I refuse to drag my son in the middle of something that isn’t his responsibility. I am his momma, I will do what I need to do to raise him into a good young man. If that means I have to wear two year old tennis shoes and reliable, but older vehicle so be it.

There are two sides to every story. Even mine, my ex feels I am out to destroy him. That is his opinion. When we divorced, after a 10 year marriage, I took mine and my son’s personal belongings. The only furniture I took was a living room couch and one of my son’s bunks. I also took about 4000.00 in debt directly attributed to my ex and was supposed to recieve compensation as per the divorce. So far I have been reimbursed 70.00. I left the house, motorcycle, boat, etc. I do not meddle in his personal life at all. He is not my responsibility anymore. We have been seperated since 2003 and he has lost everything due to him not working and his substance problems. Through all this he feels I want to leave him with nothing. I’ve gotten to the point that I do not count on any monetary support from him. So FJLdad, the courts do not immediately see a male and award to the momma. I am living proof.


#4

A lengthy court battle may not be your only option and is certainly not the first one. The first step would be to simply try and speak to your ex about this. If the schedule has worked well for two years and you have communicated well during that time, you may be able to do that now. If you try to communicate and fail, I would advise you to consult with an attorney to discuss the different legal options. There are many other things you could try, mediation, negotiation of a new custody schedule which can be turned into a court order without a lengthy court battle, if that is not successful you can file a lawsuit and go through the court ordered mediation process. If all three of those methods fail, then you can submit the dispute to a Judge and have them make a decision.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

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Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#5

After a 8 year marriage a mother and father of 2 children divorce and have a separation aggreement and child custody agreement, but no court orders. The child custody arrangements have gone well for almost 2 years with the mother having primary custody and the father having every other weekend visits along with liberal flexibly on both parent’s sides for extra visits. But during the last 15 months, the mother’s mother (the grandmother) has come to visit from overseas - each time for 10 days - starting on a Tuesday thru the following Thursday and it always coincides with the father’s weekend, not the mother’s. The father has kindly “traded” weekends to accomodate these arrangements. In the past there has been adequate prior notice to the father about the needed changes - at least 4 weeks. This most recent visit was announced about 10 days prior to the arrival and it happened to be scheduled when the father had a long standing out-of-town trip planned with his children during his regular weekend. The mother refused to allow him to have his children during this weekend, his regularly schedule weekend - and he had to cancel. The father did not feel the need to notify the mother of this trip due to it being his regular weekend. And according to his family law lawyer and also the videos on this site - he had/has no legal recourse. Can this be true? It blows a person’s mind. So I am asking - it this correct - his only choice to enforce a visitation aggreement is to get a court order? His lawyer seems to be discouraging this. saying it will be costly, lengthy and possibly have a worse result. His lawyer admits that the law and the court system are on the mother’s side and she will get her way more than likely.(Just a side note - the father has faithfully paid his child support and alimony the entire time. And there are no issues of abuse or any other issues to question either of their parenting skills)

Cathy Craig