Relocation to another state


#1

If your husband has a history of abuse and has beaten your younger children, then why would you leave 2 older children with him? Aren’t you afraid he may harm them too? Domestic violence trickles down from spouse to child.


#2

I would have to ask that also. It sounds to me as though the two oldest are the ones that NEED you more. Especially if they are already “out of control”. I would not agree to custody change right away with the history of violence and the child already beginning to have a “record”. Please do not give up on them.

I’d say if you have primary custody, then you need to find out what to do to make that permanent and then move. If your ex has a problem with that then let him file for modifying custody. You should be prepared to show the court why the move would be more beneficial for the children than staying here…


#3

Ex has a history of domestic violence and was arrested years ago. My 16 year old is the one that has 3 charges against her, she came after me at when I tried to pick her up at a party she was told NOT to go. She punched me in the head three times, grabbed me by the neck and stuck her nails in my neck and said she was going to “f” ing kill me, and she prevented me from making a 911 call by first slapping my cell phone out of my hand and on my 2nd attempt she clawed the phone out of my hand and threw it across the yard.
She is suppose to be with me, but has refused to listen, comply, come home, or respect anything I have to say. She tells me she hates me, and wants to live with her dad. Her dad just allows her to do whatever she wants to do, not knowing where she is at most of the time. When she was arrested, her dad kept saying MOM did this to you, this is all her fault.
I dont want to take her with me, I can not handle or control her. Her behavoir is trickling down to the younger kids.
My 14 year old doesnt want to come with me, he is about to start high school and has friends, he wants to come to me on school vacations and for the summers.
My ex has been calling me a *****,****,bitch, and telling them all sorts of things about me, so the little ones come home and call me those things, they flip me off, they hit me, they tell me they hate me. They tell me it is all my fault that mommy and daddy arent together, they call me a liar.
But I have always been the one to care for them, and once they are back with me for about a day, all that bad stuff stops and they are just fine. He is programing them to hate me.
I need to get out of here and go home where I can have them safe from this emotional abuse. It is taking a toll on all of us.
I dont sleep,my hair is falling out, I have gone from a size 12 to an 8 in a matter of 6 weeks.
Each time they go there, they come back with mean stuff to say to me.
When they are with me he doesnt call them, not on their birthdays, easter, I had one in the ER with a temp of 104.3 and they had to do all sorts of tests, I called him on the way there, he said he wasnt coming, and never called back for 3 days to check on her. Both my boys had graduation from 5th and 8th grade at the same time on the same day at different schools, he knew about it weeks in advance was reminded several times, and didnt show, I called him the morning of, to let him know I had one crying since nobody would be there for him, he was home and 2 miles from school and still didnt show up. When the kids are at his house, he leaves them home alone, he ignores them, his house is a mess. He doesnt watch them, my 14 year old was across the street from his house playing with a loaded revolver.
I could go on an on…it is just a very bad situation, my attorney doesnt think the judge will allow me to move that far away with the kids.


#4

Unfortunately, I concur with your attorney’s assessment. If he is seeing them two out of every seven days of the week and the oldest daughter wants to live with him, I think the court would be reluctant to allow you to move and severely limit that visitation and split up the siblings. You are the only person that knows if you can settle for that alternative, if you cannot then your best option may be to put your best case in front of the judge and see what happens.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#5

Well we have found a loop hole, I am the one that filed the suit and he has done nothing, hasnt even fully retained his attorney.
He got notice through his attorney 23 days ago stating that I intended to move out of state and return to my home state to care for my father and that I would be taking three of the children with me.
He did not respond to that as of yet. He has 30 days to do so.

Anyways, the loop hole is for me to drop the suit and leave, that way there would be no custody agreement or visitation orders.
I am seriously considering doing this, to protect the kids from him.
I am going to think about this over the next few days and then make a choice that will forever effect my children.


#6

Even if you dismiss the lawsuit you should know that he can always file on of his own. I wish you the best of luck.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#7

I currently have a temporary custody order, with me as the primary parent and him with visitation with a 7 day notice. He gets them about a 2 days a week. But never takes all five of them. My oldest refuses to live with me even though the custody order says she should be here.
Anyways, I am an only child, my parents live in California and I want to take the three younger children and move back home to have family support from them and an extended family and friends. My kids would have many loving, caring adults in their lives this way.
My dad is not doing that well either, and my mom could use my help in caring for him.
My soon to be ex has will be going to court for violating the court order at the end of the month, and he wants to get custody turned over for the oldest child so he has her. I am fine with that, as she is out of control, and even has a 3 criminal charges against her coming up. Ex has had very little to do with my two youngest girls, he even beat one of them and left bruises on her legs and bottom. They tell him they dont want to see him, and he gets angry at them, and then lets them stay with me.
I want to make this move with my 4,6, and 11 year olds. I will leave my 14 and 16 year olds here with their dad. I will make sure there is contact and visits for everyone. I am even willing to leave everything that was suppose to go through E/D with him. Just to be able to take these three kids and leave. I just want child support for them and insurance.
What are my chances of being able to move with these three children. He is dead set against any move, and will fight me. But I have been a stay at home mom since the day the first one was born, never have they been in daycare or anything.
He has a history of domestic violence, and as I said he is already violating this court order. I have NO family here, and not much of a support system. So I would be making a better life for the kids, with family and friends, and more oppertunity for them to grow and have a stress free healthy happy life.
Do I stand a chance in court?