Remarrying and ammending a parenting agreement

My uneducated opinion, based more on bias than actual legal knowledge, is that if the non-custodial parent has been a good parent, has observed visitation privileges, fulfilled support payment obligations, and has a good relationship with the child(ren), then if the non-custodial parent doesn’t want you to move off with the child in what is the beginning of a series of relocations, perhaps a court would not automatically consider your plans to be “in the best interest of the child”. That was a wordy way of saying, if your ex wants to put up a fight about you taking off with his children you might have some trouble.

But who knows? With the right attorney I guess anything is possible.

You may be able to get a lot of help with this situation through JAG at your husband-to-be’s post. I would recommend that he make an appt w/ JAG and see what they recommend.

If mediation failed, you would file a motion to modify custody and allege that the substantial change in circumstances is that your new Husband is required to move because of his military services. Permission to move is generally granted in these situations.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
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Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


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I have a mediated parenting/visitation agreement(filed 2 years ago) where I am the custodial parent with weekly dinner visits and every other weekend visits with the noncustodial parent. I recently received a court decision for equitable distribution and alimony and permanent child support (rendered 1 month ago, not yet filed with the court) after having received a court ordered post separation support order last November. I was divorced a year and a half ago and legally separated almost three years ago.
My question is, I would like to remarry someone in active military service. This would relocate me and my child to another state (and have us move every three years to new assignments with the military). If mediation to ammend the parenting/visitation agreement fails, what legal course of action must I follow and how long do I need to anticipate such a process would take before I could move to live with a new spouse? Also, do I need to be married first, then begin the process (so we would be married and living in different states) or may I begin the legal process before a wedding takes place (I would like the children of the previous marriages involved in the new union which would have to take place in another state).

Is there anything else I need to be aware of with my obligations to my former spouse or our existing agreements/court orders with regard to remarrying someone who will not likely ever reside in the same state as my former spouse (the natural parent of my child)?

Thank you for any advice or direction.