I need advice. To be honest…I’m lost. I truly feel helpless and completely let down by the legal system, and although I’m ready to give up I refuse to do so because my children are my life and I will never throw in the white flag.
My ex husband and I were married for 10 years and in that time I gave birth to two handsome little boys, now ages 6 and 8. Their father is the true definition of a narcissist. He was very controlling and extremely abusive in every aspect of that word. He had affair after affair and I took out multiple assault charges as well as a Domestic Violence Protection Order against him at the time of our separation 2 years ago. In the time since we parted ways he has made multiple false allegations against me, even lying to the court and having me incarcerated in order to gain emergency custody of my boys. His narcissistic tendencies continue to shine on a daily basis and I am at a loss.
All of my court proceedings are finished and all charges against me were dismissed. I have no criminal record and there are no substantial findings to hold weight as to why I cannot have custody of my children. During the time of his temporary custody he always found reasons not to allow me visitation on the days ordered by the court and repeated violated his court order. Now I have been granted overnight visitation every other weekend, and this being the second weekend I am supposed to see my children, his control is looming over me again as I received a text message last night saying that he will not be allowing me visitation of my kids this weekend due to hearsay that I did not comply with the rules laid out at my last visitation with them.
Please understand that when I say his narcissism is still going strong in my life right now, I must explain that his control goes much further than myself. He has made it to where I can only have supervised visitation under the supervision of my parents at their home and cannot leave their house with my kids for any reason unless accompanied by my parents. My boyfriend of one year has been made to have no contact with my sons “for their safety” which is total bull because he is a better father figure than their daddy ever thought about being. I have no control over my life whatsoever anymore and this man has been out of my life for two years now. I don’t know what to do, but I feel like I am losing my mind along with all control of my life and my children. I am a good mother. I have a job along with being a full time student at an accredited university on a path to obtaining my bachelor’s degree in health service management. I do not abuse drugs nor do I engage in the consumption of alcohol.
I live in constant fear and worry every day of what my children are being subjected to by living with their father. He is a convicted felon with a history of being extremely abusive to me and doing so in front of his children. They recently voiced concern that their daddys girlfriend is whooping them with belts and paint sticks, and I have reached out to every possible resource for help, resources that are mandated by the state to take action on my children’s behalf. NOBODY is helping me. I’ve sent local law enforcement to do welfare checks just to make sure my boys are safe and that’s the only thing that I have managed to be successful at doing. If I try to do anything on my own, the legal way, I am constantly let down and my ex husband turns it around and uses it against me. How he has managed everything that he has done is beyond me, but I need help. Please, any advice is better than what I’m being given right now. I am at a loss and desperate to seek assistance. I don’t want to miss out on any more of my children’s lives. They were miracles sent to me by God, my oldest being conceived a month before a scheduled hysterectomy and my second alive when all odds were stacked against him. I cant conceive again, my body had to give in after my second son and at 32 years old I have had to have that aforementioned surgery after a long battle with Endometriosis. These babies are my life, my heart and my motivation for being strong in spite of the odds. Please, someone be the one that finally reaches out a helping had with the advice I need to see a change. I am tired, I am weak and I am still fighting as hard as I can because I will never give up for the sake of my children.