Separation Agreement-Alienation of Affection

If your husband knew about the affair and was not planning to take any legal action, then you could put a statement of that affect into an agreement and have him sign it, protecting your friend in the future.
But if he doesn’t know about it, and you put a statement like that into an agreement, he’s likely not to sign it, and be able to use that as a confession and proof.
Your best bet, if you are still seeing this person, is to get a separation agreement with the statement that you may both “…live as though you were not married”, and hope that your spouse does not already know and have proof.
I’d also advise that you keep the relationship secret for a quite a while after you separate. Sex with someone other than your spouse, even during separation, is illegal. If your husband could show a court that the relationship “began” soon enough after separation, they could have cause to believe it was going on prior…

Stepmom- Is it really “illegal” or rather are people held accountable?


stepmother is absolutly correct,but understand, your husband cannot sue you. Your husband can only sue your lover. If that happens you can be deposed as part of the proceedings in the AofA. You will have to spend money even though you are not being sued by him. You lover will have to spend thousands to defend himself regardless if he wins or loses.

It is really illegal. It is rare that people are actually held accountable for these actions…meaning that it is rarely prosecuted. It is called Criminal Conversation or Adultery.
Being realistic…how many people do you see in the town square with the letter “A” on their chest and their head hung in shame?
But it DOES happen. This is from the home site:
"In August of 2000, a Burke County judge awarded a devastated wife $86,250 for alienation of affection and $15,000 for criminal conversation, totaling $101,250. In May of 2001, in Richmond County, the jury answered the issues of alienation of affection and criminal conversation in favor of the scorned husband and awarded him compensatory damages of $50,000 plus punitive damages of $50,000. Another distraught husband, in Mecklenburg County, received an award of $1.4 million in May, 2001 comprised of $910,000 in compensatory damages and $500,000 in punitive damages.The jury found the doctor who had had an affair with this man

Isn’t that shady to cheat on your husband and then make him sign a piece a paper to agree not to sue your paramour if he finds out? I wouldn’t try to trick him again after decieving him during the marriage. First place, that is wrong to do and immoral in my opinion, but then again some people are like that. I believe you should tell him about the affair and then word it a specific way instead decieving him and trying to get away with it.

Your spouse could sign a third party waiver agreeing not to sue a third party for alienation of affection.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

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Poppy, I really am not asking for anyone to pass judgement on the morality of my actions. I will have to answer for that myself, but not to you.

Is there specific language that can be included in a Separation Agreement that would prevent my husband from attempting to sue me and the person I am currently seeing? I was seeing this person before I left my husband, but I’m not sure if he knows or not. I just wanted to know what I can do to protect us. Thank you.