Dear Emilysdad:

Greetings. It is unlikely that she will get much alimony after only one year of marriage. Yes, I would advise you to work out the terms of a separation agreement and custodial arrangement so that she can move out after the child is born, if you don’t want to work on the marriage and make it a real one. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


Im in a difficult situation. In March of this year, my exgirlfreind came to my door with a pregnancy kit. The kit tested positive. She was 4 weeks pregnant. I was in a quandry because when we broke it off 4 weeks prior, we agreed the relationship wasnt working and that it was best we moved on. We had been on and off for 5 years and disagreed on alot of major life issues.
I didnt know what to do or say but beleived that children are gifts from god and I needed to at least try to make it right. She owned her own business and while she had health insurance, she had no maturnity coverage. She could not add this coverage because it was an existing condition. Being self employed, she also could not afford to live while in Maternity. So I told her that we should marry and move in together so that we can releive some of the burden of cost. During the last few months she has been able to save money and pay off most her debt as I have paid the bills, including her car payments. I have health insurance through my work and could include her only if we were married. So after some discussion, we agreed it was best. Intitially we tried to actually make a marriage out of it. It only seemed fair to our baby. We started out fine but the same pattern of our bad relations began to reappear. She began to express feelings that were contrary to our intial agreement. I began to feel like her motivation was different from mine. She was still holding on to feelings about “us”. She gets angry when I go out and has accused me of an affair that doesnt exist. She has gone to my coworkers homes and questioned them about me and talks bad about me to them.
She is angry and hurt that I cant “change” veiws to make the relationship work and husband and wife. Its difficult to reconcile our differences. She has threatened to divorce and get alimony. I am angry because the verbal agreement between us seems null. From the outside it seems I made a mistake but when I think of my upcoming daughter, it seems worth the mistake. My “wife” needed health insurance this was the best decision I could think of although I think Ive been fooled by her intentions.
Does she have a basis for alimony? We married in June of this year and have had no sexual relations since conception. I want to file for separation but hate that its going to cost money that should be going to our daughter due in December. Im scared though that if I dont, this “agreement” will turn bad for me. I thought I should write up something though to protect myself. Any thoughts?

Thanks for listening