Seperation b/c of finances

Dear Lauren:

I can see how confused and torn you are about the situation. Let me tell you this - it is apparent to me that you need marriage counseling and/or your husband needs some psychological counseling to help him come to grips with his responsibilities and possible bad decision making.

The first option is that you pool the limited resources you have together, seek some therapy (for him and/or the relationship) and tell him that if he leaves, he is abandoning you and your child.

The second option is to see an attorney, have a separation agreement drafted, seek child support, and then tell him how it will be:

  1. He stays, gets a job, works on the marriage, and spends time with you and your son every night.
  2. He signs the separation agreement, pays child support, helps you pay your mother back, helps watch your child while you attend school, and works on himself by himself.

The decision now is yours. I know it is a hard one, but it is yours to make. Best of luck and let us know how things turn out. I am sure that fellow forum members are putting you on their prayer list as they read.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

My husband and I have been married for almost three years. We have a six month old son. He has always had a hard time getting and keeping a job, but that has never stopped him from wanting to be with me. His current job, which he has held for three months has run out of work. We have been pretty poor our whole married life but this no work situation now has changed everything. He cam ehome yesterday and started to talk to me. What came out really suprised me. He thinks that we should stay together but he should live with his brother and i should live with me mother with our son and two labs, only because he cannot stand my mother. Well he can stand her enough to let her get a 2cd mortgage on her house to pay off his bad debt before we were even married, and can even stand to take money from her when we have none. I have a trust that pays our rent and recieve a check from each month. Now that we have a family and he has stuck with me so far, he wants to go home to his brother, sister-in-law, and nephew every night instead of his wife and child? I dont understand. He says that he feels like a burdon, but in all honesty, wasnt he before, and now that things are a little more complicated he wants the easy road huh? We got married when I was 16 and he was 19, so i have just now finished high school. I am trying to go back to school to get my Associates of Nursing Degree but i cannot do that if I am sole caretaker with no help. I have no idea what to do but I do know that if he does leave and live with his brother we are done. Please if anyone has any suggestion on how to make this work please tell me.

Lauren Dermer