I am assuming the paperwork you signed was a seperation agreement. That agreement becomes trumped by a divorce decree. You can address the amount in the final divorce. If he was a dependant spouse he could get alimony. Talk to a lawyer, you should be able to ammend the amount, as long as there aren’t midigating circumstances where he’d be able to get monitary compensation. A side note, if he commited adultry he wouldn’t qualify for alimony.


There’s really not a lot that you can do, especially if he is not willing to let you out of the agreement and it’s incorporated into the divorce. If you signed an agreement then it is a legal binding contract and unless you can prove that you were on some sort of medication and were unable to make decisions for yourself then you can not get out of this. Even then it’s very possible that you wouldn’t get out of it and on top of that would have to pay attorney fees and court costs. Your attorney may tell you that you are unlikely to have this overturned in court but they would still file a claim for it…after all, they get paid either way even if you don’t win. And if you didn’t win, you could likely have to pay his attorney’s fees for filing an unecessary suit.

If your stbx would agree to have the agreement rewritten then you could have that part removed but other than that or going to court there is no way.

My husband’s ex tried to have their agreement overturned after he and I started dating…saying that she was taking medication for depression and couldn’t make rational decisions for herself. But less than a week after she signed the agreement had major elective surgery. And we found proof that she never took the medication prescribed. Plus the fact that at the time my husband had been on the same medication for 3 years…
She wanted the rest of the stuff that she didn’t take when she originally moved and couldn’t get to after he changed the locks. Needless to say, their agreement held except for what he chose to give her. It was fine with us, he didn’t want reminders of her after she left him for someone else and I didn’t particularly want anything that had belonged to her, so he was generous. But that’s not true in every case so make sure you are prepared for the consequences, no matter what they are. This was just my own experience with this and I am not in any way suggesting that you are anything like the vindictive ex that my husband has.

This is why I have always stressed to everyone on here to make sure you agree with everything that is in the agreements before signing. And to think ahead to 6 months or a year from now…don’t just sign whatever to get out of a situation. And it’s always a good idea to have another person, whether an attorney or just a friend read over the agreement before signing so that they can tell you if you’ve missed anything important. Sometimes someone not as close to the situation will see things differently…


I had been unhappy for quite sometime and thought hard about wanting the divorce and what would come of it before actually telling him that that is what I wanted. I agreed to let him have whatever he wanted including dishes, movies, etc. To me material things are replaceable. He was capable of working and did occasionally, when he didn’t want to work anymore he would tell me something he didn’t like and I would ask that he stick it out, then he would just stop going to work like a kid would. we were together for almost 10 yrs and married for a little over seven. The reason I wanted the divorce was because before we got together he had a visectomy and he lied and told me that he never did. it wasn’t until 3yrs ago that he finally fessed up saying he was afraid that if he told me he thought I would leave him. Because of that lie and letting that build up I wondered about other things he may have lied about. I finally couldn’t take the argueing everyday so I told him I wanted the diovrce. I don’t want anything but to get this over with as soon as I can, and not be tied to him in any way shape or form!

Thank you for your time,


If you have signed and notarized agreement then there may be nothing that you can do. You should take your agreement to an attorney to discuss your options.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


My husband and I seperated in December of last year, having waited for for him to put together the seperation papers, I couldn’t wait to get out. I signed the papers stating that I would pay him so much a month, now realizing how much money that is going to cost me, I want to know if there is any way to ammend them so that I am not having to do that after our divorce is final? He says he will fight me for it, what kind of options do I have?

Thank you for your time,