I am served with papers for a “Simple Divorce” (as described by seapated Spouse, but no mention of the term "Simple Divorce is seen on papers) To summarize my situation: We were married in NY. Separated in 1997 - with Spouse leaving (and taking Daughter to DE)with many finincial issues unresovled, eventually leading to me filing Bankruptcy shortly thereafter…and losing home to foreclosure. Upon leaving - Spouse filed for Family Court Order in NY - for suspension of Visitation, based on verbal animosity and other problems (in her words, never proven to be a threat to daughter) To resolve issue temporarily, we agreed to Visitation if my Mother was present at all times, and whenever “convenient” for Spouse - conditions that were not fair to me (or daughter) but for many reasons, STILL remain in effect. I tried to get NY Visitation rules dropped /superceeded by DE Family Courts, to no avail over the next 5 years. Spouse then applied for DE Family Court Ordered “Spousal Support” based on handwritten agreement on night of her leaving (in NY) Judge in DE decided AGAINST her in two succesive Hearings…but in the 3RD one - she was finally awarded Spousal Support…retroactive to Separation date. I have been unable to get Delaware to change NY Child Support or Visitation rules in the 7 years since Separation, even thought here is no reason for the “supervised” status with My Mother in attendance…nor was there any reason for NY to be involved. * Shortly after Spouse leaving in 1997, I relocated to TX as part of a Job Transfer. neither party lived in NY. I am currently PAID in Full - in NY Ordered Child Support, and Delaware ordered Spousal Support, and have maintianed weekly contact with Daughter, visiting over 17 times in the past 7 Yrs.( under strict and inflexible conditions imposed by Spouse) I have been very frustrated during all this time in Spouse’s refusal to allow Daughter to visit me in TX at all, or anywhere for more than a week. Daughter and I have not been able to spend ONE Christams or Thanksgiving together alone - in the past 7 yrs.
I am concered that the “Simple Divorce” filed by Spouse, will not change any of the Visitation or Spousal Support issues - STILL in effect by other states. She does not want NC to review or change anything, since she enjoys over $700/mo. in Child Support/Spousal Support, and doesn’t have to agree to any visitations that are inconvenient to her wishes.
I WANT - to get Fair and Reasonable VISITATION rules established (by NC), and SPOUSAL SUPPORT DROPPED (she no longer needs this, it was only agreed to in NY (1997)- until she had a job and was “on her own” (I think a Registed Nurse who has a Town House - is ‘on her own’ - don’t you?). I would like a clear NORTH CAROLINA Court decision regarding any future Parental rights and obligations. Can I ask - at the Hearing for uncontested “Simple Divorce” - that a referral to NC Family Court to establish Fair Visitation and Child Support - be made a part of the Simple Divorce, final declaration ? OR - will that create a “Contested Divorce” situation? I am prepared to go that route, but want this marriage terminated. I don’t want to have to keep addressing NY, DE Court issues. I would like to have everything assigned to NC jurisdiction and simplify things for the future, for all involved. As you can imagine, Spouse likes the situation ‘as-it-is’. What would you advise? Thanks for your time! Sincerely, “frustrated”.