Dear maverick:
Greetings. It may only matter where your attorney works if you have to go to court. If you envision resolving your matter outside of court, it will not matter if your attorney lives in Wilmington and you live in Asheville, as long as your attorney can communicate with you and the other attorney and is available for settlement conferences. Best of luck.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorcecom
919-787-6668
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
Oh yes, you should have an attorney. Even friends draft contracts, to make sure that they both are protected. Do not think that getting an attorney will raise the conflict, as usually it helps to de-escalate a trying situation.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorcecom
919-787-6668
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
Should I approach her with, “Let’s go see an attorney for a Seperation Agreement”? Can I come home one day, start packing all necessities and then file? Seems like I read on your website that you shouldn’t leave the home without an Agreement. How can you have an Agreement when you both still live in the same house. It seems like a “Catch 22”?
We don’t have much together and I really don’t want anything that isn’t mine or I consider mine. She can have the house, land, dogs, cats, jewerly, etc… I have money in the bank that truly belongs to my father but the account is in my name only. She has 16.25 acres of land in her name that her mother purchased, as well as other properties (houses, bank accounts etc.) that belong to her mother but are in her name. So I’m not worried about a nasty divorce because she has more to lose than I do when it comes to materialistic things. I truly don’t want anything other than my truck, car, clothes, tools, 4 wheeler, utility trailor and various misc things of little or no value. Should I have things itemized in the Agreement or is that something that is in an Agreement? I don’t even know what a Seperation Agreement is for or what is consist of!!!
Dear maverick:
Greetings. You both have sufficient property that it seems worth the cost for you to retain an attorney, why the reluctance? Yes, it is hard to negotiate an agreement while you are in the home, but better. You sign and then leave (or she leaves).
Yes, you want every item you plan to leave the home with put down on paper in the agreement.
A separation agreement is a contract between the two of you that handles all the issues of alimony, equitable distribution, custody, child support, etc. that arise so that you do not have to go to court to resolve these issues. Best of luck.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorcecom
919-787-6668
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
I don’t want anything that I feel isn’t righfully mine. She has expressed the same. If she sticks to that (keep in mind I’m still in the home and neither of us has hired an attorney) and doesn’t make it nasty, then I’ll walk away with what I want and she can have the rest. I’m not being reluctant in my opinion, just being reasonable.
What I want is no alimony for me or her, I’m not responible for her debts and she’s not responsible for mine, I get what items I want and that’s not very much, I keep the money I have in the bank and she keeps what she has, she must refuse any future entitlement to my federal retirement benefits, if there is any such a thing (I want be retiring for another 25 years) and she can pretty much have the rest. To me that’s fair. It’s not equal but so what?
I really don’t want what her mother has purchased and has in her name. On paper it’s hers but its not. The same for me. I have over 30K in the bank but its really my dads money and my wife knows that. Her mom bought the 16.25 acres for us at a cost of 30K and I don’t want it.
If we do hit Splitsville and she isn’t nasty, then I want be either. Like I said, she has potentially more to lose materialistcally, not to mention her new career, which will pay double what if she ever passes the exam and could be grounds for alimony (I guess).
Dear maverick:
No one said that what may be technically 50-50 is what you have to agree to. All I am saying is to “get it in writing” even if you feel she has more to lose. You never know what may happen in the future - car accidents, death, children, etc. You should protect both of your rights and interests with an agreement - which can be as amicable as agreeing to the split you have already decided upon. Best of luck.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorcecom
919-787-6668
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
I requested last night that we both visit an attorney to file a Seperation Agreement. It was first met with resistance, but after a lenghty discussion she agreed.
How do I protect my federal benefits? Can it be as simple as her stating in the agreement that she declines any future entitlement or do I need to contact my Office of Personnel Management or is there a legal document of some kind? I will have a retirement (pension) because I plan to stay with the Federal government and I currently contribute to a “Thrift Savings Plan” www.tsp.gov. The TSP is a retirement savings plan for civilians who are employed by the United States Government and members of the uniformed services. Is it or can it be so simple as to have her agree to refuse any entitlement in the agreement?
Dear maverick:
Greetings.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorcecom
919-787-6668
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
Let’s try again. First, I don’t know if I should be offended that you would think that I don’t know what a TSP is or not, but I will let that pass for now. [;)]
You must clearly state in the separation agreement that she waives all rights and interests in your retirement plan and waives her rights to equitable distribution and alimony.
As far as social security interests (if you have been married for over ten years), you cannot contractually waive those or affect her rights. Best of luck.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorcecom
919-787-6668
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
Sorry about that Janet. I was trying to be specific. I’m not offended by your SSA comment. That’s where I work![:D]I’ve only been married 4 years.
Thanks for all your help Janet. I have an appt with a local atty on Tuesday. I plan to make a list and try to cover all the bases.
Is there a danger in both of us using the same atty at the same time to discuss and hash out the Agreement?
Can it realistically be completed and signed the same day if the appt is at 3pm? Or is it more likely to drag out of the course of a few days?
Like I said earlier, as of right now we are in agreement on the issues. I have stated my intentions of requesting her to decline entitlement. I plan to do the same. A tit for tat! For ex. I don’t want alimony from her. She can’t get it from me. I don’t want anything from her career. She can’t receive from mine. To be honest with you Janet. I want to put in the Agreement that if I win the Lotto the day after we sign, she can’t be entitled and vis versa! Can this be done seeing how we are still married but have this Seperation Agreement.
Can I state in the agreement that what is purchased the day after the agreement is signed and forward is not and can’t be considered martial propery?
I need a place to stay and furniture if you know what I mean. I’m trying to cover everything!
Dear Maverick:
Greetings. Your attorney will need at least one day to draft the agreement, but probably more if you don’t have all the information. An attorney CANNOT represent both of you and advise either of you concerning the law. Yes, there is DANGER in an attorney that will represent both of you, as they are violating an ethical duty.
If you draft the agreement correctly, and win the lottery the next day, she CANNOT claim it. Of course, you will need to come and take me to the Caribbean…LOL. The language you suggest should come standard in your attorney’s separation agreement. Best of luck.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorcecom
919-787-6668
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
So are you saying that I should have an attorney draft for me, present it to her and let her decide what to do? Sign in front of a notary or hire an attorney to go over the agreement and make her own request? I was under the impression that we both go see the same atty since we aren’t fighting it out, tell him what we want and he/she types it up and we sign. I have an appt at 3pm Tuesday with a local atty. Does a Seperation Agreement require a retainer? I just want a cost effective split with little or no hassle. Basically a total and complete split with only hurdle left is the one year rule. Like I said, I need somewhere to stay and would rather purchase than rent long term. We both agree on property, bank accounts, debts etc… I haven’t discussed with my intentions on my Federal Benefits but I can’t imagine she would object when you look at everything else we’ve agreed to verbally. The more I think about this, the more stuff and ideas I come up to include in the agreement.
I assume you’ve been doing this for a while. You’ve read my post. Do I sound like anything you’ve ever handled before? If we need seperate attorny’s, would you rep me? I don’t live in or even close to Raleigh. You sound like a damn good attorney to me. I would take you to the Bahamas if I win the Lotto BUT then it may be a conflict of interest and may get you and I into lots of trouble, afterall I’m still married and would only have a Seperation Agreement, remember?
Dear maverick:
Greetings. Yes, I am saying that you should have an attorney draft the agreement for you and present it to her. We charge flat fees for services, not a retainer and billing hourly, so I don’t know what your local attorneys do there for you.
If you plan on purchasing a place to live, make sure that you sign a memorandum of agreement also, and file that with the Register of Deeds office in your county.
I would not even mention the federal benefits to her, but instead just have the paragraphs drafted that you get everything in your name and she gets everything in her name and a waiver of equitable distribution.
Yes, I have been doing this for a while. We have 12 attorneys here and we are all excellent (my opinion of course). We also have two board certified family law specialists. I have handled many cases similar to your situation and many more which have even more complex issues that require litigation and legal research.
Due to our technology, we currently represent clients all over the United States and the world, including Asia and the Middle East, so I am sure we can help you if you are just a couple (or many) counties away.
You are right about the conflicts, so I will just take a postcard from the Bahamas…LOL [8D]
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorcecom
919-787-6668
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
A waiver of equitable distribution? What does this do? Don’t I need to specifically list the Federal Benefits so that later on, there is no question as what she has signed and agreed to? I’m not trying to itemize pots and pans here. I want to cover the major issues in the agreement and have a statement or two about minor areas of interest. No one can specifically itemize every ounce of possessions or do they? She can have it all except the things I specifically asked for, as stated earlier.
Dear maverick:
Greetings. The bottom line is that you CLEARLY need to hire an attorney to assist you. A waiver of equitable distribution means that she cannot later come back and ask the court to evenly divide the marital estate. Best of luck.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorcecom
919-787-6668
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
We both live in county “A” and both work in county “B”. If I choose to leave, should file paperwork through an attorney, does it really matter if the attorney if located in the county I live in? I have an attorney in mind but that attorney is in the county I work in.
We have openly discussed the what if’s, and she has stated that she would help me move out and give me what I need to start over. We don’t have any children or much property to speak of. I have things that I consider mine and wish to have. The attorney I spoke with said it would be best in regards to cost, if we resolve all issues between us versus having attorney fight it out. Should I have an attorney involved if we can come to a mutual verbal agreement between ourselves or should we both visit the same attorney and have an agreement drawn up?
She has stated that she doesn’t want to be my enemy and that we should continue to be friends no matter what happens. Should I have an attorney? If the above is true, she may feel threatened and this could get ugly if we both have attorney.