Son home before deployment...visitation rights

Unfortunately, the courts are very slow. And, at this time of year I doubt you will find any relief but, you must have your lawyer file ASAP the necessary forms to bring this matter to the judges attention. You can also go to your local courthouse and check their compter database to see if their is any pending suit for divorce. If, there is not, then your son should file immediatly himself and request custody. DO NOT wait for her to act!

I wish you, your son and Lilly the best.

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Does the mother have “sole” custody? Or do they have joint legal and physical custody? Depending on what the custody arrangements are, he is entitled to visitations. If there has been no custody arrangments filed then I agree with phils, have your son file for custody immediately. There may be special circumstances if he is being deployed. Also, here’s something from the home page you may find interesting.
“In North Carolina you and your spouse may settle issues of custody and visitation by private agreement; custody does not have to be submitted to a judge. Until you both settle, or until a court issues a ruling on custody, remember that the general rule applies: each parent has co-equal rights to the physical possession of a child of the marriage. Unless there is some written document establishing custodial and visitation rights, the custodial arrangements are subject to being changed at the whim or caprice of either parent.”

This is why it’s so important to get custody in writing, but unless there is something in writing then your son is entitled to equal time with his child. Again, I agree with phils, do not wait for her to act. He should get something in the works for custody and in the mean time, I would have him put in writing to her that he will have his daughter during those dates and that it is illegal for her to keep her from him. She can not refuse for him to have his daughter and it can be in his home. If they are still married, she has not filed for custody and divorced, then you better believe that he has every right to have his daughter in your home the ENTIRE time he is home and the mother has no right to be there. Since it’s likely it will be several months before he is able to see her again.
I would not discuss this situation with a judge that may end up hearing a case so that she can not say any rulings are considered altered by personal information or preferences. If the people in the judicial system know you, all the better for you and your son, but do not in any way shape or form let it look as though you are manipultating the system to your benefit. You do not want a custody ruling overturned down the road due to conflict of interests. It may be that he can get the custody papers to read that YOU get your granddaughter on his visitation schedule while he is away, and when he is back in the states then he will get those visitations.
Good luck to all of you. Keep us posted.

this is my first post. My son is the the Army and stationed in Germany. He will be home between 1/15-1/28 on a short leave. His wife has either filed or planning to file for a divorce. Their chld is 7 months old and will only allow us to see her at church or with arrangements to visit at her parents home, where she lives. My husband and I have been very considerate in many ways including giving the mother plenty of time before asking for visitation time with our grand child. Our grandchild (Lily) is now 7 months old and we asked if we could have Lily in our home for a few hours visit. The response we received was that not right now, I’ll have to wait to see what happens (meaning with our son and the filing of a divorce, we assume). My son will be home for a very short time before he is most likely deployed and will be staying in our home while he’s on leave. He is so excited about having the approval to come home for a few days to see his baby Lily, and we are extremely concerned that he will by devistated if this does not happen. My husband and I have pletny of time to work visitation rights out for us, either through a third party or the court system, but Patrck does not. Not only will Patrick leave devistated, our hearts will also be broken because of his pain.
Someone mentioned to us that udder these circumstances, our attorney might be able to request time with a Judge. I’m not sure what can be accomplished, but as far as we understand he is still married, even though she could have filed for divorce on 10/25//06, without him being aware. We just found out a yesterday, that she was not going to let him nor us, take Lily for a few hours visit and because of this we have only a couple of weeks to have something in order, so that we may have some time with Lily. There would be no question of our worthiness of be resposnible grandparents. I have been involved with the courts as a Guardian Ad-Litem and Judge Helms and his family have been in our home, while our children were involved in school and sports. We are not wanting to turn to him, but if the courts need a quick reference to our abilities of caring for Lily while she is in our hands, someone may need to turn to Judge Helms or the director of Guardian Ad-Litem. We really wanted to think that our being able to have a relationship with Lily, would not be an issue, even though we did see the red flags. CAN SOMEONE ADVISE ON WHAT QUICK STEPS THAT MY BE AVAILABLE, SO THAT OUR SON WOULD BE ABLE TO BRING LILY TO OUR HOME FOR VISITS DURING HIS LEAVE. HE HAS ONLY HAD THE CHANGE TO VISIT WITH HER AT THE MOTHERS/GRANDPARENTS HOUSE ON HIS WAY THROUGH HER TO GERMANY WHEN LILY WAS ABOUT 2 MONTHS OLD AND SAID THAT IT WAS VERY HARD WITH FEELING THE ABSOLUTE JOY OF HOLDING HER WHILE FEELING ALL THE TENSION FROM THE MOTHER. HE SAYS NOW THAT LILY IS OLDER THAT HE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO SEE HER AS IF IT WERE “SUPERVISED” VISITATIONS. TIME IS RUNNING SHORT, PLEASE ADVISE TO E-MAIL: SAHTWEETY@AOL.COM