Spying or not?


Somehow my wife had access to all my text messages I was sending. I inquired several times and she would not tell me. This happened as a result of her suspecting I was seeing someone else, which I was. I admitted to seeing someone to her. There were text messages that clued her in.

My question is - does her reading my text messages represent and illegal activity? A couple caveats to complicate the matter. She did have access as an account manager to my online cell phone account to pay the bill (she managed all the finances). Though you CANNOT see the actual text message by logging in to the bill pay account. Also, I gave her my phone lock password (she demanded it and I thought it best to give it as it would have caused a HUGE scene with our 12 and 17 yr old girls). I DID NOT give her permission to read anything though.

I found out later that she was using some program from Verizon to read my texts without me knowing. She downloaded them and downloaded other information from my phone without me knowing.

We are going to go through what I think is a nasty divorce. I just want to be prepared to defend and have “counter” claims for her to think about. Can she use this information to try and prove adultery? Please advise. Thank you


This is a very murky area of the law. If she was picking up your phone and going through the text messages, whether this is permissible hinges on authorization. You did give her your passcode, but on the other hand it wasn’t implied that she had access to snoop. It would be up to a judge to decide whether that evidence is admissible or not. Consider looking through the content we have in our Spousal Spying Center.

On the other hand, it sounds like she legally obtained access to your phone records. If both names are on the account, then she certainly is permitted to view/request statements and information on the phones.


When my husband went away on a business trip, he came back different. Noticed his phone was pass code protected. I went to the Verizon website and was only able to see numbers. It was enough. He was deleting messages sent by another woman. 15 pages worth. I tried to get the messages and they have to be gotten by an attorney. They moved in together and now she has signed and notarized my civil summons for divorce. Nice huh?