STBX husband filed surprise law suit for full child custody


#1

I received a certified letter from stbX attorney stating he wants full custody with me paying him child support. He has not asked for the one day more than his 4 days a month for the last 9 months. He will not agree to the asking monies we have requested in separation papers and has been antsy to get things completed. . I have not spoken to my attorney as she is out of town.
He filed complaints as follows:

  1. That I told the boys details of the separation to their emotional detriment (my boys are 6 and I have ONLY told them what I have directed by their pediatrician, guidance counselor, and therapist. One time I told my soon to be ex at the front doot that if we had to move from the home he would have to tell the boys why. I turned around and one son was approx. 20 feet away. It was not brought up so I am quite sure he did not hear.

  2. That “on a whim”, usually one to 2 hours prior, I will contact him to watch the boys which interferes with the visitation schedule. He also filed this is information belived that I am doing personal things during this time and it shrinks my responsibility as a mother who should have full custody.
    I have called him 2 times when I was very sick (dr. was testing for e-coli, etc) and he refused to help. I contacted him whaen a sitter canceled when I was in the Divorce Care class to ask if he minded watching the boys for a bit longer.
    I did ask him 2 weeks ago to watch the boys one sunday eve on his weekend with the boys so I could attend a confeence for my professional credits required to maintain my license. Another time, I was called to a meeting and called him to see if he could take our son to a doctor visit. I mentioned that if he was not available I would reschedule it.
    I may have called him a approx 4 more times in 9 months but NOT to do anything personal for myself. Want to add that when we initailly separated and had better communication I asked him if I needed a sitter or if one canceled would he like to be called. He replied yes.

I am thinking :

  1. his attorney told my att. that my stbX has said he wanted to go to court because the judge will most likely have him pay less money in alimony and C Support (possibly true)

  2. He want full custody so he does not have to pay (he hates to spend money)

  3. He is trying to scare me in thinking I will lose my children as a full time mother.

He does not like to lose so I am thinking he may push this very far.

The boys are thriving since the separation. I keep touch with teachers, guidance coun. who sees them weekly and call the ped. when i have any questions about how to explain something.
Their grades are above grade level and behavior is good, no change since sep.

I have worked with children for 16 years and have been a good mother involved at school, signing them up for activities, attending them , communicating with professional regarding what happened. He is active and I know loves the boys but he left our home last Oct. after a diagnoses of sexual addiction, using the boys computer for pornography, paid websites to meet other women much younger and admitting to infedelity.

I have always been faithful.
I do have to work more hours now because of the separation so i don’t get to spend as much time with the boys that I would like.

Please let me know what your thoughts are.
Thank you


#2

Based on the facts you list, I do not think you are at risk for losing custody of your children. It appears that you have been the primary caregiver for the children and that your husband has been somewhat of an absentee father as well.

Even if you did request help with the children for personal time, that is not a reason for your to lose your children.