I received a certified letter from stbX attorney stating he wants full custody with me paying him child support. He has not asked for the one day more than his 4 days a month for the last 9 months. He will not agree to the asking monies we have requested in separation papers and has been antsy to get things completed. . I have not spoken to my attorney as she is out of town.
He filed complaints as follows:
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That I told the boys details of the separation to their emotional detriment (my boys are 6 and I have ONLY told them what I have directed by their pediatrician, guidance counselor, and therapist. One time I told my soon to be ex at the front doot that if we had to move from the home he would have to tell the boys why. I turned around and one son was approx. 20 feet away. It was not brought up so I am quite sure he did not hear.
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That “on a whim”, usually one to 2 hours prior, I will contact him to watch the boys which interferes with the visitation schedule. He also filed this is information belived that I am doing personal things during this time and it shrinks my responsibility as a mother who should have full custody.
I have called him 2 times when I was very sick (dr. was testing for e-coli, etc) and he refused to help. I contacted him whaen a sitter canceled when I was in the Divorce Care class to ask if he minded watching the boys for a bit longer.
I did ask him 2 weeks ago to watch the boys one sunday eve on his weekend with the boys so I could attend a confeence for my professional credits required to maintain my license. Another time, I was called to a meeting and called him to see if he could take our son to a doctor visit. I mentioned that if he was not available I would reschedule it.
I may have called him a approx 4 more times in 9 months but NOT to do anything personal for myself. Want to add that when we initailly separated and had better communication I asked him if I needed a sitter or if one canceled would he like to be called. He replied yes.
I am thinking :
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his attorney told my att. that my stbX has said he wanted to go to court because the judge will most likely have him pay less money in alimony and C Support (possibly true)
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He want full custody so he does not have to pay (he hates to spend money)
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He is trying to scare me in thinking I will lose my children as a full time mother.
He does not like to lose so I am thinking he may push this very far.
The boys are thriving since the separation. I keep touch with teachers, guidance coun. who sees them weekly and call the ped. when i have any questions about how to explain something.
Their grades are above grade level and behavior is good, no change since sep.
I have worked with children for 16 years and have been a good mother involved at school, signing them up for activities, attending them , communicating with professional regarding what happened. He is active and I know loves the boys but he left our home last Oct. after a diagnoses of sexual addiction, using the boys computer for pornography, paid websites to meet other women much younger and admitting to infedelity.
I have always been faithful.
I do have to work more hours now because of the separation so i don’t get to spend as much time with the boys that I would like.
Please let me know what your thoughts are.
Thank you