Support from Atlanta vs Angry Abuse in NC


#1

In 2009 I lost my job and my wife discovered my multiple adultery after 23 years. We have daughters 17 and 14, are both 50+ with advanced degrees. She handles all finances but has not worked outside the home since 1992. We are separated in house- I have a contract job now, admit I have been a poor husband, and want to stay married. She wants to separate but fears financial ruin and is demanding an 80-100% support agreement from me as payment for my infidelity, lying and “stealing her life.” Wife has childhood emotional and severe anger management issues and since 2002 is frequently verbally and physically abusive to me in front of our children. She only stops when I threaten to call 911. If I leave she will influence daughters against me. I am willing to provide well but have no place to go- no family in NC.
An affair partner in Atlanta is financially stable and will take me in. I can find a new job there and will agree to a generous split to support my wife and daughters. I know I am a shameful jerk. If I move out and go to GA now I will be alienated from immediate and extended family. Can I also face more legal liability for past and present infidelity?


#2

Your liability for adultery is connected to your alimony obligation and the law states that a supporting spouse who commits adultery shall pay alimony. In this case my guess is that you would be ordered to pay alimony regardless of whether you had an affair or not, based on your Wife’s financial dependency.

Your paramour may be at risk for an alienation of affection or criminal conversation suit.


#3

Can I preclude a potential alienation of affection and criminal conversation filing by specific stipulation against that action in the Separation Agreement and Property Settlement? Also, is there legal recourse to preclude ‘alienation of child affection’ so the spouse with majority custody cannot use that time to consistently criticize and turn the children against the other spouse? Thank you very much.


#4

You may include a third party waiver in your separation agreement. This will prohibit your spouse from filing such a claim against your paramour if the Agreement is signed.

You may also include language in the Agreement that prohibits the other parent from making disparaging remarks about you to, or in the presence of the child.


#5

Thank you! How far above 50% asset division is typical or reasonable for an unfaithful husband to provide to the supported spouse and teenage children? She insists on an agreement giving her 100% of all property and assets including my military reserve pension that begins paying in 2015. She seeks maintenance of her current lifestyle level and demands to decrease my lifestyle to near homelessness as punishment. I could agree but want to be loving and amicable- not crazy.


#6

North Carolina law does not include adultery as a factor in making a determination of Equitable Distribution, your affair does not entitle her to more than a 50% distribution of assets.