TIME SENSITIVE 3 parties, child support and abandonment


Child is 17, will be 18 in January. (we were teen parents)

I signed a temporary release of my parental rights to my mother in order to join the Air Force in 2001 (standard procedure for single moms/parents) I was released from duty due to an injury just shy of graduating basic training. upon arriving home I had my attorney draw up the paper work to reinstate my parental rights. My mother signed…but this made her an invested party from that day forward…

11 years and a lot of changes…Father filed so many motions over the years that the judge had written into the most recent order (from 2012) that nobody was to file any motions without first going through a parent coordinator. With each motion came a hearing and each hearing came a change in custody and visitation.

at one time my mother was awarded custody with liberal visitation for both me and father, we were ordered to pay child support.

Most current order from 2012:

custody split between myself, my mother and the childs father. childs father and I alternate every other Wednesday though Monday morning. and my mother gets every Monday and Tuesday.

Father ordered to pay Grandmother $250 a month in child support, Mother to pay Grandmother $50 in child support

Parent coordinator to be hired if any conflict.

mother and father to split extra expenses

alternate every 3 years for taxes and holidays…

In 2013 my parents moved into my home. essentially child is living with me with the exception of visiting her father every other Wednesday through Monday morning.

April 2014 my parents move out of the county, given child’s school schedule and no way for them to accommodate transportation on Mondays and Tuesdays. Child remains with me with exception of fathers visitation.

grandmother tells father he no longer has to pay her child support since child is no longer with her.

December 2014 father fails to pick child up from school on his day, calls/texts/emails go unanswered.

We didn’t hear from him again (not 1 time and we TRIED because she really did miss him and was well beyond the age where I could have distracted her, she was 14!) and I wanted nothing ore than for her to have a good relationship with her dad.

early 2015 I file with CSE for modification of support. they did not schedule a hearing until 2017. Father showed up early to hearing, and was just finishing “his side” of the story when I walked in the door, the caseworker gave her “order” before I even sat down! she literally didn’t hear a thing I had to say. Findings were as follows:

  1. since there was an court order awarding custody to my mother…there was nothing I could do to change it.

  2. she ordered no change other than he now had to provide insurance for child.

is is now October 2018. My mother says that the $250 per month he was ordered to pay was to maintain childs standard of living while she lived with her, and since she no longer lives with her my mother says she cant in god faith file a for a non-payment or support. BUT refuses to put anything in writing saying child is with me full time. essentially road blocking me from doing anything

Child has asked for my husband to officially adopt her, due to finances I have told her we would be on the courthouse steps the day she turns 18. She just wants a dad!

But, I am tired of watching my child miss out on so much because of this. I don’t even have money for a class ring or senior photo, let alone her admission fee to college.

So, my question is this:
is there a chronological order I should take here? Given that she turns 18 in January, is it too late to do anything at all about the child support he hasn’t paid since 2014? is there anything I can do to fast track something that would at least give some relief for some of these expenses?

because of the unique situation with my mother, do I even have an option? or should I just cut my losses?

Also, this all took place in Mecklenburg county. We moved to Rowan county in July 2017 can I file for anything here?

I have to do this on my own. I can barely afford to feed my family, and I have 2 young babies. I am not looking for any exorbitant amount…I just don’t want her to sacrifice the things that matter the most to a high school senior and I definitely don’t want any further damage to her future or her self esteem/mental health.

I should point out that since the 2012 order his income has skyrocketed from unemployed (he was lying, he actually worked for his dad who manipulated all financial and employment records) to over $100,000 annually. with a 3000 sf home on a 2 acre lot on a private lake EXPENSE FREE, he has 2 new vehicles, and takes exotic vacations and attends some pretty amazing concerts…but on PAPER RECORD…he makes zilch…benefits of working for his father.


Child support lasts until the child turns 18 and graduates from high school with a few exceptions. Generally it terminates when the last of those two things happens. So if your daughter is in 12th grade now and she turns 18 in January, child support would continue until the month she graduates from high school.

Since the current child support order has child support going to your mother instead of you, you would have to file a motion to modify that order based upon a substantial change in circumstances. To prove the substantial change in circumstances (child is now living with you instead of the grandmother), you would need documentation from your mother that she does not have the child and likely a new custody order reflecting this change.

Even though child support terminates when a child turns 18 and graduates from high school, any unpaid/back child support will remain as arrears that must still be paid.

If all court orders have been entered in Mecklenburg County, you would have to file the motions in Mecklenburg County.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

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