Trying to make it by myself


I am so depressed it is taking everything I’ve got to even type in this question.
I got a job and was so happy. I went to work always on time and did the very best i could. This was my first job in my field so i was thrilled to not only have an income but also to be getting expierence. The very last day of my 90 day period they terminated me saying I just wasn’t doing my job as good as they expected and they didn’t think i would ever be up to par. I have fibromyalgia, ADHD, sleep disorder, anxiety attacks I had all these health issues when i signed at mediation. I had not tried to work before mediation though since my diagnoses. I have now been diagnosed with a new health problem called superior canal dehiscence, which is a rare disorder within my ear that affects my balance along with other symptoms. I am also waiting on tests to confirm i have developed RA. Is there a chance i can take my ex husband back to court about the alimony. He intentionally hasn’t worked but 4 months out of this year. I have known him over 25 years and he has always worked. I believe he is setting himself up to look as if he has a low income and a high debt. Can a judge not see through this? Or is it all based on how he makes it look.
He likely had a large savings hidden that he has been supplimenting his life with. I just do not know what to do. Can you provide any answers?


I am so sorry to hear of your difficulties, it must be a terrible time for you. In my opinion, the circumstances don’t give rise to what is needed to change alimony, but you may want to consider attempting to get disability.


I feel for you. Do you have any other financial support system? Have you considered Disability? It sounds like you qualify. Do you have any children? I would speak with your Doctor and Disability to see what your chances are?


I was a stay at home mother and did not work enough to draw disability. I had already tried as I already had two qualifying health issues. I have no other financial support. I have no idea what to do. i do not understand how this doesn’t qualify as a change in circumstances. I have another serious health problem and I cannot come close to the lifestyle I had. Does the fact i cannot live in a remotely simular lifestyle not constitute a change? I did have one attorney say that if I could not get my lifestyle back to what it was during my marriage after an extended period of time then i could get the alimony extended and increased. Is that wrong in your opinion? i surely am not in a positition to throw money away. What part of the legalities is that based on?


I disagree as the change in your circumstances could have been anticipated at the time the agreement was made. I am truly sorry that things are so difficult for you.


I had taken my prescribed valium during mediation due to my anxiety so i was very complacent. Not considering that i wouldn’t be able to regain my life. You have no idea the level of my desperation in just trying to survive. It’s not about making him pay for all he did it’s just about trying to eat and pay bills. What in this world, besides him having an increase in income, constitutes a change in circumstance?


In my opinion your set of facts is not a qualifying change. If you have met with a lawyer who believes he or she can convince a court that it is I suggest you retain that person.


What is the point in retaining him if there is no legal grounds? I would have to borrow the money and am already living in poverty. What constitutes a change in circumstances?


Please refer back to your earlier posts for my responses to that question.


The only thing I see in the earlier post is where you said “A change in circumstances is usually an involuntary and substantial reduction in income, or a serious health problem which develops after the entry of the order on alimony.” I was diagnosed with a serious health problem after the entry so I am still confused. So does a serious health problem diagnosed after the original entry constitute a change of circumstances or have you changed your mind about that? or does it have to be a near death diagnoses instead of a functional diagnoses?


I have not changed my mind regarding the requirements of demonstrating a substantial change, my fear is that the court will not view your condition as a substantial change as you already had the symptoms of your disease at the time of the settlement.


Thank you. I understand. And yes I did have some symptoms but I honest to God thought it was related to my anxiety as my symptoms first started to appear during that highly stressful time of my divorce. Naturally I thought that when I got through my divorce proceedings my anxiety level would decrease and the symptoms would be relieved. Never once did i even entertain the thought that it was anything serious. The doctor said that “it is possible you may have been born with this condition and it just now became symptomatic.” Do you not think the court would take into consideration?


The court would consider the onset of symptoms as a factor in determining whether a modification is appropriate.


i just went to a cardiologist because when I was working my hands and ankles were swelling and almost unbearably painful and i was having other symptoms ie…I almost passed out twice at work. I had already had some symptoms but never a diagnosis until I took it upon myself to find a cardiologist. While working the symptoms were much more severe. I was diagnosed with A-Fib. I cannot help that my health plummeted. I can’t draw disability because i stayed home at my husbands demand. I don’t understand what i am suppose to do. Do you think I have a chance at getting this modified due to another severe health issues?


You may attempt to have the alimony modified, but there are no guarantees.


Would you consider taking this case?


In my opinion this case would be a tough one, and I am not sure there is much hope for success, but I can’t say for sure. I would suggest you schedule a consultation with one of our attorney’s in order to get a full evaluation of your case based on the specific facts.


I thought a serious health diagnosis after the entry would constitute a substantial change ? This diagnosis was not made just based on my symptoms I had to wear a heart monitor for two weeks so it is a proven heart problem. Is this not enough to get me into court for a modification?


It could be, but I cannot say for sure.


Are you an attorney or paralegal?