Walking Out?


I can’t say about the kids–I’m guessing that since nothing is worked out, though you probably won’t move far and would indeed tell him where you are going, that it’s not abandonment–you really have to leave someone in a lurch to abandon them. You are legally separating. Now, since there isn’t a custody order, that will have to be hammered out–my county required us to go to a mediation session first. As far as the car is concerned, everything obtained during the marriage is considered jointly-held property. You know, my mom was definitely in a bad marriage for many years, but she planned her exit strategy–waited until she saved up some money, got a job that could support us all–then left. If you want to leave before you get your ducks in a row, then yes, it will be hard.


I would definately tell him where I would be going. He already knows where I would go. I would be 3 hours away from him, so there could no real problem with visitation. I tried to help with this before and he would not even have anythign to do with it. I would have had to bring them up here to him every time (this was before his revocation) He has even threatened suicide if he had to pay child support, saying that he cant pay if he’s dead. It’s insane to say the least but righ tnow I can not work with his work schedule and my school schedule. I would have no time for my kids or sleep or my studies. The only income I am geting right now is $33 a week in child support for my daughter, so I know I would not get support for her. And I know I would not get alimony since I admitted to cheating twice, but he stayed with me.


Again it seems like you’re jumping the gun and leaving without having something to fall back on. I know the thought of staying with him another minute makes you taste bile but you really have to determine how you’ll support the family, right? Something has to give. If he’s threatening suicide, which is totally ludicrous and shouldn’t even be acknowledged, then tell him the kids will get his social security until they’re 18, and that’ll be helpful. What a twit he is.


Dear EthynsMom:

Greetings. Technically yes, leaving the marriage without a separation agreement or court order is abandonment. Without an agreement in place, your spouse could go to the school and take the child that is his back home with him at the end of the day.

Yes, he can stop making payments on the car and insurance. What do you mean by he was “mean” - was he violent or threatening? If so, then you have the right to file for domestic violence. I hope that helps. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


I know that this has been posted before but I can’t find the answer. What will happen if I just walk out one day with my kids? Only one of the kids is my husbands. Is this considered abandonment? Also, husband has a revoked drivers license and obviously can not drive. We have one car between the 2 of us and it is in MY name as is the insurance. He pays on the car. I recall Mrs. Frits saying that he can indeed stop making the payments on the car, but if he can not drive it, what’s the point of having it?? Any advice? The reason I want to just walk out because we just cannot agree on anything and during the times we did try to seperate he was very mean and tried everythign he could to get our son and made sure no one took the car. He hid my car keys, took the tags off of the car and took the tags to work with him so that I could not leave. He is not going to change but trying to end this fairly just is not going to happen. I just dont know what to do. When I do leave, I will have my kids (2) and no car and no money. Any help or advice?