Do you have a current child support order? If not I’d take him to court and have the numbers figured out where he will be forced to own up to what he makes. Then you can always settle for less.
Does he pay any child support at all?
He does pay child support. He has missed a few payments. Some we have agreed upon, others…“The check got lost in the mail.” He has sworn he will pay me back. Since the last missed child support, it is deposited in my account.So as to not cause anymore yelling matches. He still hasn’t paid me back for the few he has missed. Everytime he has missed a check. Seems, he got a new car that broke down. His girlfriend got a diamond ring. It is not court ordered. We agreed upon this when we had the child. Also, when the child is with him, does he still have to pay child support?
I would suggest that you go to child support enforcement and have child support ordered. They will take it out of his check and take care of things should he fall behind. Child support is based on income and overnights with the child. If you know how much he makes I would run the numbers on the calculator.
You need to take the control of when he pays out of his hands. He has an obligation to his child and he needs to fulfill that obligation regardless of what happens in his personal life.
Then I suggest that you inform him, in writing, that if the payments do not begin to be more regular you will be forced to take further action. Let him know that you are not trying to make things more difficult but that not ever knowing when/if you will get the support makes a big difference. If he can not stick to an agreement, then you will need to carry it further.
Yes, he would pay child support even during his visitation period. Think of child support this way:
It cost X amount a month to raise a child. You earn 40% of the total amount and the other parent earns 60%. That means that the other parent would pay you the 20% difference. The total is based on salaries of the two parents, number of overnights with each parent, insurance and day care and some other activities. Child support is paid to the parent that 1) has the child more overnights or more custody 2) makes the lesser of the amount to make up the difference. Child support is that parents portion of what it takes to raise a child based on all those figures. Normally, the parent that has a child every other weekend would not be the one to buy all their clothes and pay for all the everyday necessities. That would be the one that has the child primarily in their care daily. Child support does not cover everything that is needed because it is only a portion of the total amount.
I would like to commend you on your attempts to keep things as amicable as possible, but there does come a time when you need to put your foot down. Taking control of the situation now when your son is still young will make things easier on you in the future.
I try to get along with my childs father. I don’t want to strap him with too much child support. Making him unable to live. This year my child starts preschool. This puts a strain on my new husbands and my check book. I find it hard to believe my ex is in so much debt. He works for a major company. He gives me no clues on how much he makes. How much the insurance deductable is for our son. All I want to be is fair. Is there a way to find out this information? We have joint custody but our child is with me most of the time. Spending maybe 3 weeks a year with his Dad.