Hi Pooh
Have you gone into Child Support Enforcement?? they will help you out in getting child support. I can not afford an attorney so I am going to take my husband to court and let the judge make the decision and the judge can make it all legal and the husband can not denie the kids and I money anymore…
Keep your head high no matter how hard times get and things seem to be. But we will all make it and they will suffer worse in the long run cause they will see we can do it and survive…
My heart goes out to you and your kids…
But remeber go and file papers at the Child Support Enforcement office…Mega hugs
Hi Babyluvs,
No, I haven’t gone to the child support agency yet as I am being told that I can’t get any child support payments as long as the husband is paying the bills (though I don’t believe it’s anywhere near the same amount as the child support would be), and also that I can’t do it until the separation agreement has been signed.
I am being told the same thing about the alimony (no payments now and NO back payments when the separation agreement is signed). In fact, the husband is doing everything in his power to keep from paying me ANY alimony and as LITTLE child support as possible.
I asked my attorney about the fact that he has “suddenly” started working less hours and is therefore making less money, which means less child support & alimony and the attorney said “if you can find a case where a judge forced a supporting spouse to work overtime in order to make the higher payments, I’ll write you a letter of written apology and dance into the other room and show it to your husband”. The deal is that the husband has been working for this same company for the duration of our marriage. For the last 10 to 15 years, he has ALWAYS worked anywhere from 70 to 80 hours each week - with the exception of “hunting season”, when he works less hours so he’ll have time to hunt. WELL - IT’S HUNTING SEASON NOW and he’s reporting the lesser hours as his income. I honestly thought they went by how much he makes per YEAR – not per month.
So far, the head is above the water and I’m chunky so I float![:D]
I figure if I’ve lived through this “fire and brimstone” for all of these years, I’ll survive this. It just gets depressing and overwhelming when the kids are sick and the car’s breaks go out (knowing HE’S got the TWO other vehicles AND his motorcycle) and the food’s running low and Christmas is SO close!! It’s times like those when I’m SO thankful for my “online” friends and my family’s support!
Mega hugs right back at ya!!
Hi Pooh
Pooh no matter what go into Child Support Enforcement…Please…
I have an appt to see them the 12th of this Month (do it for the kids)
Where I am currently living at both the husband and I have a signed lease and so far he has not paid the rent for this Month. And I to have been a homemaker for 17 years, supported him along the way in his career as him as a Marine and now seeing he will not give the kids and I money I refuse to let him treat me like I was the one that cheated…It was all his doing and no matter what I do in legal sense I am doing it for the kids!!! I refuse to let him think he can throw us away for him and his mistress to live like they are in a castle…
Pooh you and I have rights lets get these two to own up to their responsibilities…
I am with ya cause Pooh if it was you or I that did this we would have the book thrown at us…But your’s and mine can not get away with it…We have to be heard…
Mega hugsssss
I have a question pertaining to child support and when my husband is supposed to start paying. He left July 3, 2003 and HAS been paying the house payment each month as well as the power and phone bills. He says that since he’s doing this, he does NOT have to start paying child support payments to help me with our 3 sons. My attorney said that according to the hours he has reported that he is now working, the child support amount has gone down from approx. 1800.00 per month to 956.00 per month for all three children because “suddenly” he’s not getting the hours he was getting before he left.
Even using the lower amount, the amount of the house payment and the two utilities does not amount to anywhere near that figure (956.00). If I go by my husband’s word, after paying the house payment, the power and phone bill would have to add up to over 500.00 in order to equal the 956.00, and he had a long-distance block put on the phone so it’s not like I’m running THAT bill up!
For the duration of our marriage, he has had complete control over the finances. All of the bank accounts and bills are in his name and he is having everything forwarded to a new address. I’d LOVE nothing more than to be able to have these bills put into my name, but since I was the “homemaker” and not working when he moved out (I haven’t been able to find a job yet - and not for lack of trying), I don’t have the means to pay them. Besides, I had mentioned putting these bills in my name right after he left and he said that he had NO intention of doing so until our settlement agreement has been signed. This has turned out to be taking MUCH longer than I had anticipated simply because I refuse to accept the “crumbs” he’s asking me to settle for.
Do I have to wait until our separation agreement has been signed before going to the child support agency to start collection proceedings? At this moment, 2 of the three boys are sick and I don’t have the money to take them to a Doctor. The two youngest outgrow their shoes (and clothes) it seems on a regular basis and I have no way to get them any clothing - or anything else for that matter. After being married to this man for over 18 years, I learned a LONG time ago to do without. I have always gone to yard sales, flea markets or thrift shops for my clothes and usually for the boys as well although there are times when buying them something “new” can’t be avoided.
I just don’t understand how the HUSBAND can spend money like it’s going out of style on himself and his girlfriend but absolutely refuses to spend anything on his own children and get away with it! I do realize the saying “what goes around comes around”, and I know that one day he’ll regret treating his sons so badly but in the meantime, my children are having to do without. I’m an adult and can handle “doing without” many things but my sons should not be expected to have to suffer because their father is trying to “punish” ME…
Incidentally, he’s also saying that because he’s paying these “bills”, he will not be required to pay any back child support payments either. Shouldn’t he be required to provide receipts of all of the bills, showing the amounts he’s paying? He has been dishonest about SO many things during this whole mess that I just can’t accept his word that he’s on the up and up here.