Week Vacation time issue


#1

In the past, my ex husband and I have scheduled our week vacations with our 8 yr old daughter Saturday to Saturday, using not only our weekend but the other parent’s weekend. He has now decided this year that he does not want to give up his weekends and basically I need to plan my week vacations as a Monday to Monday (for example) so that my weekend is used and not his. Not necessarily convienient, but…

Is there any definitive definition as to what the week vacation is when it comes to child custody/visitation or is it whatever is agreed upon by the parties? We do not address this issue in our divorce papers.

Seems like something very petty for the two of us to even have to discuss but when he changes what we have agreed to in the past I’m not sure what stance I can take. Thanks.


#2

Is it your year to pick first? He sounds like he is being petty. We always tack vacation at the end of what is our weekend so that we end up with more like 9 days in a row. That way we have more time for driving. We start ours at 6pm on Sunday (which starts her parenting time) to the following Sunday at 6pm. Maybe that would work for you as well?

Unless it specifically says that you cannot do what you are trying to do, then it’s permitted.


#3

Yeah, ever since he’s got remarried, he’s changed a lot of what we had previously agreed to verbally…even “rules” he created! When I remind him of our previous arrangements he “can’t remember” or just doesn’t even respond. Quite frustrating…thanks for the response and suggestion.


#4

I understand completely. New people in the situation that don’t have maturity will usually mess things up that are good. Thankfully, all of those “new people” (they never last) have taught me what NOT to do.

We like to tack vacation onto the end of our weekend that way the kids are already in our custody when vacation begins. Much less issue that way!


#5

Usually the agreement sets vacation time as 7 consecutive days. If he is no longer amenable to giving up his weekends you cannot force him to, but I would suggest you follow suit and refuse to allow his vacation time to impede your weekends.


#6

He’s just working on a control issue. The best thing to do is to accommodate him. My ex jerked me around for years and I stayed upset about it, but now, I go along with him. Since I don’t put up a fight, the weird requests are fewer and fewer. He only wants to “pull your chain” and this is his strange way to get “attention” from you!!! Over time, your daughter will get old enough to see through this game. My sons have and we laugh about it. My sons LAUGH at their father and call him immature!


#7

Next question…we alternate Easter weekend, and this year it fell on my scheduled weekend, but it was his to turn to have her…so, I followed our agreement and he kept her that weekend (my weekend) plus the next five days for his 7 days vacation.

Now, as I mentioned before, he won’t let me impede on his weekend so I can get my seven days…we don’t address the week vacation in our separation agreement, but since he took seven days (even though it worked out that way only because of the alternating holidays) shouldn’t I still get my seven regardless? Or am I still in the same boat, that I can’t make him give the seven days to me?


#8

Normally the holiday visitation overrides the regular schedule, so you would have been right to keep your daughter for Easter and would recommend you do not cut him any more breaks in the future.
If the week of vacation is not addressed in your agreement, there is no way to force him to give you the time.