What a mess! Adult Child caught in the middle


#1

I am going to try to make this as short and sweet as possible. I am 31; my parents are in their early 50’s. They were together 30 years. The last 5-10 years they argued alot, mom lied alot (about dumb things), she made up scenarios, dad yelled alot. Mom “lost” two house payments-twice, according to dad had wracked up a large amount of credit card debt about 15 years ago which he paid back, and, according to him, spent most of the money he brought home and had nothing to show for it. September 1 of 2011 he comes home very late, walks in their bedroom and says he is leaving her. Says he needs time to think and doesn’t know what he wants. A month or so go by, she finds out, through his facebook, that he is having an affair with my brother’s secretary. (My dad, brother, and husband all work for the same company. This whole situation is awful.) My mother supposedly filed for separation. They never really signed anything though. She has gone through alot of emotional issues. There was alot of crazy and mean text messages to my brother and I when she got upset. December of 2011, she apparently obtained a credit card in my dad’s name. He later finds out about this and says pay it off, don’t use it again, if you need anything call me and I will take care of it. He let her and my sister, who has a developmental delay, stay in the house. He pays house payment, her car payment, and has bought her all new kitchen appliances, fixed the air conditioning units, bought towels, gave her money for clothes,etc. The one thing I don’t get is why he didn’t take that credit card and cut it up or at least have it cancelled. Knowing her history with money, that is what I would have done.

So fast forward to February of 2013. Dad gets tired of living with sister. He tells his girlfriend to move in with her kid who is pregnant and he moves in with us. By this time, mom has serious drinking problem, is very depressed, and on lots of meds. Dad’s girlfriend has cheated on him. mom and dad try to work it out. Apparently mom is still lying about things. Mom sees that dad is still talking to the girlfriend. They stop seeing each other.

Now today, he calls me to tell me she has ran up $1100 on a credit card. He has had it cancelled, signed an affidavit, told the credit card company everything. I am now in the middle. I don’t want my mom to go to jail, but I don’t agree with her doing this. I don’t see why he didn’t take the credit card when he found out about it. I am in the middle. If I run out and give mom a head’s up, I betray him. If I don’t, they she will automatically assume I knew, which I did, and I betray her.

My question is this: What exactly can happen? I know that you don’t know exactly what WILL happen, but I need some sort of information so I know what is coming here. I have been put in the middle by one or the other for two years and some change now. I already have to deal with my husband and his exgirlfriend that he had a child with. THat situation is all kinds of horrible. I am in college; we have 3 kids. I have a lot of stress. It has affected my health. So I would appreciate any info you can give me so I know kind of what can happen. Not so I can run to either one with info. Just for my own personal knowledge. I am confused. They never signed any papers, but haven’t been together. I don’t know how that works. I don’t want her to go to jail, but I can’t believe she did this, again. Well yeah I can. Him leaving has really done a number on her emotionally and mentally. This is going to make everything worse, whether she goes to jail or not. Basicly, if the two of them aren’t on speaking terms, she gives my brother and I hell. If they are speaking and getting along, she is in heaven. So now I can just imagine the drunken emotional texts and phone calls. Plus, I have 3 kids and a step child. My parents definitely have not thought anything through in several years and have become pretty selfish. They don’t realize how their actions affect everyone, not just them. Give me something to go on here please.


#2

Your question is regarding criminal law and is outside the scope of this forum. As it relates to the family law side of things, a court would find that the debt she incurred on his card after the parties separated was her separate debt and that she is obligated to repay him for the debt.