What are my options in dealing with a liar?

[system]

Janette,

I’m really sorry to hear about your situation. I always advise people to try to work out a settlement out of court, to avoid the additional costs of litigation. If you can get him to negotiate in good faith, then you should be able to settle all of these issues in a separation agreement. You can negotiate the return of some of the property, or some type of monetary reimbursement for your interest in the property. However, if you cannot reach a settlement (or you don’t think that’s possible), you can certainly pursue the action in court by filing an action for equitable distribution of the property, alimony, and post separation support.

You should send him a letter telling him he is not allowed on the property anymore without your permission, and if he does enter the property, it would be domestic criminal trespass. If he comes by the house, you should contact police and show them the letter you sent to him. You should also change out your garage door opener, or see if you can have the remote reprogrammed so that he cannot enter through that door.

Contact a lawyer in your area to talk about the details of your case, and whether settlement is your best option, or if you should go straight to court.

Good luck!

Shonnese D. Stanback
Attorney
The Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.256.1534 direct voice
919.256.1667 direct fax
919.787.6668 main voice
919.787.6361 main fax
NCdivorce.com
email: sstanback@rosen.com

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

[Janette]

First, my husband of 17 months is a chronic liar and sneak. Apparently he has deceived me numerous times, but only once I “discover” the lies, he always has an explaination of WHY he HAD to lie, sneak, cheat, etc. It started when we first met and he told me he had been divorced 7 years. Only AFTER he asked me to marry him, we had invitations to the wedding printed and mail, and less than 30 days prior to the 1st chosen wedding date, he Emailed me to say we couldn’t get married on that date, that he was still married to someone else. THAT SHOULD HAVE been my red flag to run, run, run… but I was in love and gave him a second change.

He was unemployed for the first 13 months and only recently started driving a 18-wheel truck. In November he rarely came home on weekends, although he was off-duty only 4 hours from home. Then on Thanksgiving morning he called to inform me the marriage “wasn’t working” and we should “probably divorce”. He would not give me his new address or any other information. He also had his cell phone number changed so I could not call him.

I since learned he has been seeing someone in the area of his “off-duty” layovers. In fact, she contacted me because he had just learned he was married to me. He had told her he was divorced (does this lie sound familiar? … same lie / different woman)

However, last week when he knew I would be at work or choir practise he told his boss he had to be off for a few days because his mother was dying of cancer (she died approximately 10 years ago). His REAL intent was to come to my home (which I had PREVIOUS to our marriage and is still deeded ONLY in my name). He entered the house and removed some things, including a boat also registered to me. He left a lot of clothing claiming this was still his legal residence and he could come back any time.

I have since learned what his new address is. I do NOT want to reconcile as I would NEVER be able to trust him again after all his lies and sneaking around. And I also DO NOT want him entering my home again any time he wishes. I have changed the locks but he still has a garage door opener in his possession.

He claims if I don’t sign the boat over to him he will come after half the house. I currently am paying the debt on both the house, the boat, his pickup, 2 jet skis and a car I’m driving. This debt is in the form of a re-finance to include the Equity Line of Credit on my house previously used to acquire those assets. He does not intend to assume any of that debt.

I would like to know 1)… How do I get this jerk to keep off my property… and 2) How can I get the assets back in my possession? He’s taken them and hidden them I guess. I would really like to get the maximum from him as I don’t believe he deserves anything except punishment for all his cheating and lies. What are my options?

Janette Schroeder