What is the best way to leave the home?

Dear Redflags:

Greetings. Listen to yourself. You know what you can and cannot do. First, you made some tough choices - like whether or not to pay for her attorney fees - and they back fired. So now, your next choices are just as important.

First, I say to tell her what you plan to take from the home. Take half. Then, run the child support guidelines and pay the exact amount you owe. Look at your wife’s income, the child support amount you pay, and whether or not she needs more money. If so, give her just enough to live. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

After agreeing to work together in the interests of our child on a separation, I went to an attorney and had a separation agreement proposed to her. Then she requested that I pay for her attorney fees, since I intiated it. In the hopes it would speed up the separation, I paid for her attorney too. Meanwhile, I have been living in the house and maintaining it, no matter how painful and difficult it has been, since I know it is best to have an agreement before you leave.
Now, after weeks of waiting for her to respond, she refuses negoiate at all and is not interested in the separation agreement. Obviously, she has had a changed her mind for some reason, and is determinted to keep me in the house. At this point I have decided to leave anyway since there doesn’t seem to be any other choice. What am I entitled to take with me, and what should I pay for? If I pay the mortgage on the house, that more than cover my child support obligations, plus a few hundred in alimony. Since she won’t talk about, I don’t know how long I should agree to do that. My attorney has advised that I continue to pay her insurance, pay her car off, don’t take anything with me and completely furnish my apartment using credit, so that the courts will see my financial bind that I’m in, and in addtion, pay her attorney fees in the upcoming court case for custody. I don’t agree with her advice, but I don’t want to make a mistake. But if I listen to her, I will be living on the streets. My attorney seems to be more interested in protecting her than protecting me, so I think I need a second opinion.