What to do before Seperation


For the last 3 or 4 years seperation and divorce has been in the mind of both my husband and myself. Numerous times he has cheated on me and been involved in many other things that I dont agree to, there has been domestic violence (but I dropped charges) and he is getting very verbally abusive and not teaching my three year old to come say crude and mean things she has never even heard before. We have two young childern that I am worried about getting caught up in the whole mess and growing up with a bad outlook on love and marriage. I am the primary care giver to the children and I dont think there will ever be any arguement there. Everything says to stay in the house until you talk to a lawer but it is begining to be unbearable again. How can I get seperated from him if he refuses to leave the house. I don’t want to have to talk the children out of their schools and childcare. Material things dont matter to me, he can have whatever when the time is right. All I need is what is necessary to provide for my children. Where do I go from here and how.


If you or the children are in physical danger you need to file for a domestic violence retraining order. You can visit the clerks office in your county and they will provide you with the materials necessary to get this action moving. You may ask that he be ordered out of the home as part of the restraining order a judge will issue if there is physical abuse, or if you are in imminent fear of physical abuse.
I also suggest you meet with an attorney to discuss the particulars of your case and create a plan of action in the near future. If you are the dependant spouse (earn less than your husband) you may be entitled to have him pay a portion of your attorney’s fees.


If he is violent or you are in danger, you can file for a divorce from bed and board as well as a restraining order. In divorce from bed and board, a judge can order him out of the house. Technically, neither party has to leave the house without justification and the one who leaves voluntary may suffer the consequences. It’s hard. I know. But, if you need to get him out because you are scared or your life is in danger, find an attorney and get the ball rolling. A sheriff can serve him with either a restraining order or a divorce from bed and board and can get him out. Protect yourself financially in whatever way you have to. Close joint accounts. Max out credit cards. I know that is not what an attorney might tell you to do, but you have got to protect yourself. Get your financial matters under control and then proceed. Don’t let him have control of these things before you get him out!