What to do...should I get another atty?

Sounds like your attorney is jerking you around. He should paperwork at least started so you cna file for divorce & custody. As far as the house goes, you should be able to buy out your husband. You’d have to get the house re-financed in your name only, if you want to keep it, but as long as you’ve made the payments it shouldn’t be a big deal. The court may try to tell you that he (your husband)can be taken off the title and mortgage, but the financing company or bank does not have to take his name off unless it’s financed in your name only. If that happens, you may have to buy your husband out. If there is any equity in the home, use that equity for however much you have to pay him. (it’s the cheapest and easiest way to do it.) You need to start documenting all the stupid stuff you’re husband is doing and start studying up on divorce matters so you know when your lawyer is falling down on the job. I would avoid getting social services involved. It sounds like you might want to start looking for another attorney because a lot of the questions you’re asking should have already been answered by him.

My atty has counter filed against my husband in response to him suing me for custody and visitation.
We have tried to work things out on paper thus far with my atty saying I will do better that way instead of going in front of a judge. However everything just hangs in the balance. Nothing is getting done.
My atty called last week and spoke to me about custody and visitation which I had already given him revisions some time ago but my husband’s atty had ignored and sent it back the same way she first gave it to me.
Now I find out there is an affidavit from my husband at my atty’s office concerning property dispersal–the house etc.
Why didn’t my atty ever mention sending one of these to my husband from me?? It was never mentioned to me at all.
Another concern is selling the house. Can the court order me out of here with kids under 18 living here?

Can I use the power of attorney that I have for my husband in any way in this matter? Will it cause problems for me if I do even though I straighten out all financial matters with him at a later time?

Still wondering…

You can’t use that power of attorney the way you want to. Power of Attorney is for you to legally act in the best interest of the other person. You’re wanting to use it in your best interest now. That’s not the way it works. As far as the house goes, again, you may have to buy your husband out, or get the house re-financed in your name only (or with a relative as a co-signer). If you are unable to do either of these things, the judge may force both of you to pay half of the mortgage until the house is sold (this can take months) and any proceeds from the sale of the home will be divided amongst the two of you.

It sounds like you have lost confidence in your attorney. Go get a second opinion from another lawyer and see whether you are on track.

Good luck.

Lee S. Rosen
Board Certified Family Law Specialist
The Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

Hi here’s the situation. My husband left on Sept. 21, 2005. We still have nothing on paper except for the lawsuit served against me concerning child custody and visitation by my husband and my counter suit to him. Nothing is settled, not child custody, visitation, child support, distribution of property, alimony…nothing. The only thing that exists is a verbal agreement between my husband and myself allowing him to visit with the boys on Wednesdays from 6-8 and every other weekend from Friday at 6 to Sunday at 4. My husband continually changes when he brings them home on weekend visits. He wants to bring them home early or just stops by with them early or brings them home late telling me I told you I’d bring them home between 4 and 5 which is not what we verbally agreed upon.
Court has been cancelled at least 4 times now, either because of promised negotiations which never happen or too many cases on the docket.

I have no family here so no family support close by. My family lives in NY state. My husband has his parents and sister living here.

My atty says that I will have to sell our home that my 3 sons and I are currently living in. I was told by another party if there were children less than 18 years of age that they wouldn’t make me leave the home. My atty says the court will make me put the house on the market and will hire a realtor to do so if I don’t. Can they force me to leave the home, right away? The boys are 11, 9, and 4 years old.

Should I continue to try for sole child custody when my husband wants me to be primary and him secondary? Is it even worth pursuing?

Can I buy my husband out [house] without a job, just on paper…and pay him later when I sell the house? Can we agree on an amount and when I sell the house he gets that set amount or does it have to be half? Does he have to continue to pay the mortgage? Do I have any rights at all? The house is in both our names.

A land developer is interested in purchasing the property but has not offered enough money. Should I sell to them and move away? I can’t afford to relocate in the same county because it is too expensive.
What happens legally if I have to move out of the county or even the state to take care of myself and the boys financially? Can I leave the state? How would this affect visitation? Will my husband be granted the whole summer and school vacations with the boys?

At first my husband gave us money on a regular basis. Now, my husband gives us money when he feels like it because there is no court order stating that he has to. I have been a dependent spouse since 1994 and have not worked outside the home. I currently do not have a job and am looking for employment. However, by putting my youngest in daycare and the job I would be able to get having been out of the workforce so long, I would scarcely bring home any money after paying for childcare. I might as well stay home, so I am also looking for at home employment.
If I get a job before we settle financial matters, how will that affect child support and alimony?

My husband is currently renting a home where drug dealing was going on. The boys reported to me finding needles in the home and shady looking characters stopping by asking for the people that used to live there. I confirmed through the police that a warrant was served and an arrest was made there. I spoke to our doctor and also another one about the effects this would have on the boys’ health being in the house. After gathering all this information, I decided to end visitations but was told by my atty that my husband could get an emergency custody order and take the kids to live with him and then I would have to fight to get them back. What about the children’s safety? I would have let him have a visit but protested the location because of safety issues. Will the court do anything about checking the premises to see how safe it is drug wise?

My husband has a girlfriend too. I don’t know for sure if he was seeing someone when he left but I suspect that it is true due to the way he was acting at home. What about the adultery law? Will this be helpful to me at all? Will this help me get alimony?

Will the court consider my husband’s abuse of alcohol during our marriage and the emotional strain it put on our marriage?

Another issue is who picks up the kids for visits? Is my husband allowed to pick anyone he pleases? Do I have to agree to him and his parents being able to do so if he chooses to send them? Can he send a girlfriend or future spouse etc.? What are my rights on this issue? Do I have to allow the grandparents to pick them up? I don’t have a problem with them seeing their grandparents but don’t want to be forced into it.

My atty said it would be better to settle things outside of court because I could get a better settlement. How is doing nothing helping me? I am getting money when my husband feels like it. Will this be held against him in court?

When my husband left he took $5600.00 out of our joint account. Will the court issue anything stating that he must pay me half of that? Also he cashed in his IRA’s…over $6000.00 after he left. I still have mine which is quite a bit less than his. Will they do anything about splitting his IRA money with me? Will I have to cash mine in to split with him even though mine was in existence before our marriage and his wasn’t until after our marriage?
Can the court use the money that my husband previously took and put it up against what we would divide on the house?

Through this all I feel as if I never get anywhere with legalities. I wonder if I have any rights at all. Am I getting the run around? Should I find another atty? I still owe the current one $500 and have no more money to hire another one. My atty always seems too busy to contact me. Should I go to Dept. of Soc. Services and see if they will appoint me an atty? Should I have something established by now?
I feel really lost and don’t know where to turn.