Where to begin


Dear factseekr:

Greetings. I am glad that you posted and hope that we can help you:

  1. No, if you moved out and he has told you that you cannot come back, then you cannot or it will be Domestic Criminal Trespass, which is a crime in NC. This does not mean that you lose your ownership interest in the home though.

  2. Yes, but you cannot go in. So, if he will not agree to let you back in, then your options are to A) Negotiate with him through your attorney to obtain your items from the house or B) File an action for equitable distribution and ask for an “interim distribution.”

  3. An attorney can help you move your spouse towards a settlement.

  4. You need a temporary restraining order to stop him from selling off assets.

  5. Yes, post separation support may apply (after we learn more about the reasons you moved out, income of the parties, etc.). It is not likely that you will get “back spousal support,” but it could happen.

  6. No, he cannot do that.

Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


I need help. I moved out from a marriage of 17 years. I was no longer in love with my husband and wanted to be happy. I first left in October of 2003 but moved back in for Holidays. I left again in April of 2004. I was guilty of procrastination but now really want to just get things settled. He did not want any of this to happen and his bitterness has made him very difficult to even talk with. I was hoping to settle out of court. It is becoming apparent this may not be possible.
Currently I am in an apartment. He will not let me in our house, both our names are on the mortgage. He will not let me take anything from the house. I have had to borrow money from family just to get by. He has spoken often to our 2 children, 15 and 12, of how bad I have hurt him resulting in damaged relations between myself and my children. Recently he sold our boat (again, both our names were on the title)but will not even tell me what he was paid for it. I feel so frustatrated and do not know what to do.

When the children were little we decided I would stay at home full time. As they entered school I went back to work part time. Of course he always worked full time. I have always been dedicated to being there for our children. While I was raising our kids he was working, contributing to his 401K and being the bread winner. I feel as though I contributed equally to everything we acquired thoughout the years. Now he wants to say since he makes more money he is entitled to get more in the settlement. I feel that is unfair.


  1. Am I allowed in my house? He says since I left I am not.
  2. May I take items I need/want from the house? Again, he says I chose to give everything up.
  3. Can I make him take action towards a settlement. Hiring the expensive attorney I feel I need seems difficult as I have no money. I know his idea of what would be fair would not be anything I could agree to.
  4. How do I stop him from selling off assets we accumulated together and pocketing the money? (like the boat?)
  5. Would temporary alimony apply here? Can I try to get it for the last 10 months I have been on my own?
  6. We built a house on land we bought from his parents. The purchase of the land was while we were married. They did sell it to us at a reduced price. He says he is not giving me anything for the land since it was his parents. Can he do that???
    Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.