Back in April I filed a 50 B at the urging of the police associated with the battered women’s shelter. When it came time for the hearing my new lawyer wanted me to modify the agreement so my husband could go to church and come to the home (with someone I trusted and with prior permission) to do repairs and help get the home ready for sell) After 22 years the home should be paid off, but he has a spending problem and refinanced so many times. each time at the signing I found that he had rolled tens of thousands of dollars into the loan. I have no idea what he spent the money on. But I am beginning to find out it wasn’t as much what, but who and gambling.
At the hearing the judge refused to recuse himself. it was someone we both knew. My husband’s lawyer made some vague threats and my husband showed up at court with 3 very angry and indignant women from his office. (It seems that he had found one of my journal pages that I had deleted and emailed it as if from me. He had constant use of what was supposed to be My laptop) My lawyer told me that she could write up an agreement that would be just as binding to keep him from harassing me or coming by alone. I didn’t want to do that , but the odds were against me. My husband holds a high powered position in our city and knew the judge well. I trusted my lawyer, much to my regret and let the 50 B drop. Now I can’t get another.
within a few hours my husband had called 6 times and I refused to answer the phone. He sent the police out to check on me even though they knew he wasn’t to have contact with me. they didn’t know the 50 B had been dropped at that point.
The house has been broken into several times and the local police only came out twice. They refused to examine the broken locks or take finger prints. I have now had to replace 5 broken window locks and broken door locks. The people who helped me change the locks have seen the broken locks but the police would not go close enough to even see that they were broken. Some of the window locks were broken into pieces. I didn’t accuse my husband, but once I told them the items that were missing they went to talk to him. He is the only suspect other than the suggestion of a neighborhood child. The things that were taken, other than money would only be of help to him. the last time my back up discs were taken including running discs for my computer.
I kept asking for a copy of the reports. I finally went to the mayor. I had called each of the officers and the chief but had not gotten a response until i called the mayor. Now One officer is saying that I have made too many unsubstantiated reports and contacted my lawyer threatening me with arrest and suggesting that I am mentally unbalanced.
I have asked the neighbors. No one has been around asking questions. Yet the officer told me that the neighborhood had been canvassed extensively. He had even told me that he was going to the bank to watch video to make sure that my husband didn’t get into my safety deposit box. No officer went to the bank.
I requested copies of the reports filed and was told I could come by and pick them up. When I went by I was stalled and told to go home and access them online. They do not exist. Now I am afraid to pursue the issue and I guess that is what they want.
In the meantime my husband has been telling everyone that I am mentally unstable and not taking my meds. I wasn’t on anything except something for my blood pressure. As my Dr. had told me, when your husband leaves your blood pressure will most likely go down and it has, even wit the fear caused by the break ins.
As I told my lawyer, it is not in my best interest to have my husband arrested. I’d much rather have alimony and insurance than have him in jail. I just want to be protected.
What good does it do for my husband to have me labeled and mentally unbalanced? Doesn’t that mean that he will have to keep me on his insurance and make sure to pay for my medications. What about his actions? He went off his antidepressants a long time ago and I tried telling then his behavior was irrational. He kept demanding that I sign papers that didn’t exist and demanded hat I go file for separation since he wanted to leave me. He wanted me to pay for everything and is furious that he had to hire his own lawyer. I couldn’t get him on tape because he was so paranoid. He even accused me of taping him while listening to my MP3 player. I wish I had been able to get something on tape, but was too afraid of being hurt.
He did attack me several times before he left, but after my first report of abuse I was never allowed to make another. I was told that I should have called as soon as it happened. It was impossible since I was hurt too badly and he took the phone away from me. The bruises and lumps should have been enough, but they refused to even take pictures.
I am still trying to find a new lawyer. But I can’t find one in my area and your firm wouldn’t even work in my area. I have been turned down several times because they didn’t want to come here. I know my lawyer is not doing her job.
I am sorry to hear that your situation is so frustrating. I suggest you contact the state bar for a referral to an attorney who can help you.