A few questions


Dear AtALossandNeedHelp:

Greetings. Thanks for tuning in…I am glad this forum is helpful!

Question 1: No, since you have reconciled, she has condoned the affair in my opinion. Remember though, alimony is a financial determination. We look at the finaces of the parties to ensure that alimony is appropriate.

Question 2: Sure, you can “hold her accountable” for abandonment, but I am wondering what you think that will look like. Holding her accountable may mean that you send her a letter reminding her she has committed abandonment. Abandonment is just one of the faults that factor into alimony, and in my opinion, not very useful. My advice is that you stop focusing on the “fault” aspects of the marriage and separation, and focus on the financial ones. That will save you a lot of time and money long term.

Question 3: Gifts to you alone, received by someone other than your spouse, are not marital property.

Best of luck!

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


Hello Janet… I have been reading your forum daily and find it very informative. I have a few questions about NC laws.
A little background information: Married going on 3 years. No children(unless you count the dog and cat). I had an affair 11 months ago. She took me back(begged me to come back) into the house. I busted my rump to make things right between us. Six weeks ago we had a knock down drag out verbal fight. She made a conscience desision to move out.

Question 1: Can she hold the affair against me for alimony since she took me back into the house?

Question 2: Can I hold her accountable for abandoment since she made the desision to leave?

As I understand the law, she is not entitled to anything that I received as a gift. Am I correct in that understanding?

Thank you in advance for any thing you can tell me.