Accused of an affair


#1

Dear momof2:

Greetings. If your friend and his wife will testify on your behalf, there is no issue. Even if you are having an affair, that has little to no relevance to custody unless you were leaving the children in order to spend timw with this man.

I think that it all comes down to whether or not this man/friend and his wife will help you.

If you want him to stop whining to you about an affair, give him the name and number of the man’s wife and tell him to call her because she is also your friend. You may also want to take a trip out to their house to prove you are friends with both at some time in the near future. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

ROSENDIVORCE.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#2

I have a question regarding this issue. I had 2 sexual encounters during the course of my marriage. I admitted to them before he found out. My parents were here visiting when these happened. Will this affect custody? Can his attorney claim I am a bad mother because of this? don’t they have to prove that I am a bad mother?


#3

Dear EthysMom:

Greetings. Generally, no, affairs do not affect custody. Sometimes the manner in which an affair is carried out may affect custody. For example, if you are having the person over to your house and the children are there, that may be a problem. Or, if you have neglected the children to participate in the affair, that may be a problem. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#4

After many years of being verbally, mentally and physically abused, my husband attacked me for the last time. I called the police, had him arrested, hired a private atty to follow through w/the one year restraining order and to file for separation and divorce.

He is now accusing me of having an affair and has spent $3K paying an investigator to dig up dirt on me. He insists that he can show that I talk to a male friend all of the time and this proves that I am having an affair, that my friend has stayed in a hotel in our town and he can prove it, etc. My friend lives 2 states away so when he is in town on business he does stay in a hotel, his wife knows that we are friends and that we have been talking a lot more than usual the past few months because I am really afraid that my husband is going to hurt me again. He’s been through this w/his sister and has been a great help when I could not decide what I should do. He always insisted that I have to protect myself first. I am not having an affair, he’s only a friend. The problem is that my husband never “allowed” me to have many friends, he managed to be rude and hateful to each and every one of them until most of them didn’t talk to me anymore. I had a male friend who is gay and my husband still insisted that I was having an affair w/him.

I don’t know how to defend myself other than that I didn’t do anything wrong. He has had an investigator obtain our cell phone records, credit card records, etc to try to prove that I am having an affair. He has told me that he will never have to pay me a dime and that if I agree to work on our marriage, he’ll tear up everything he has and we can just forget about it. Then when I tell him that I don’t care what he has, we are not getting back together, he says that he will take custody of our daughter away.

I don’t care what else happens as long as I maintain custody and I doubt he would be able to do that, but I don’t look forward to ending up w/nothing just because he brings his paranoia into the courtroom. Are cell phone records enough to “prove” that I had/am having an affair? And is there anyway to disprove it? My friend and his wife are both willing to testify, but I didn’t want to have to drag anyone else into this mess. Any advice?