Take all the ammo you have to court. Take pictures of the childrens rooms, the neighborhood, their school, the home. This lets the court “see” what life with you would be like. Take all the documentations and records, take any recordings you may have.
If you are called to testify, the judge wants to know why you want to change custody to joint…that is because you want to spend more time with the children and get to know them better. The judge wants to know how it will benefit the child for you husband to have joint custody, and that is because he wants to have more involvment in their daily lives. You can show that the children will have their own space at your home. Most of the time, not all, the courts want both parents to be as involved as possible and unless there is a reason such as abuse, it benefits the child to have both parents equally involved.
If the reason the ex is not willing to negotiate custody is money then if the lawyer is any good, that will come out. The other option is to get that recorder on your phone and your husband call her the night before this goes to court to see if they can settle this instead of going to court. Have him ask her about trying to “sell” the children for tax deductions and see if he can get her to admit anything else on record. Tell her that she offered it once so why couldn’t they work something else out. Then if the questions come up in court, you have it recorded. It’s sneaky but sometimes you have to bend the rules to do what is best for the children.
Don’t try to trash the x in court, but simply show that your home has as much to offer and in some cases more. At a certain age, boys need to be with their father and form a relationship. I have seen what depriving a child of that can do and it’s a terrible thing to do to a child if there’s no reason for it.
Good Luck and keep us posted!
Dear mal:
Greetings. Why do you think that the counselor’s recommendation is not taken into consideration? Is this the child’s counselor? I am not sure what you are asking. You need to be prepared to try a child custody trial if you have one set. Thank you.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
Couseling and negotiations have not worked w/ ex to try and change custody to joint from every other weekend in original sep agreement. Counselor’s recommendation is only minimally better than sep agreement. I know that judge does not have to take this into consideration. What should we be prepared for? I know that many times these cases are settled at the last minute before going before the judge. What should we bring with us?