If you feel that you need to give them a forum to decide, then you must take the case back to a family court and let a judge decide. the judge will take their opinions but not allow them the ability to determine the answer for themselves because quite frankly a child does not know what is good for him–definition of a child. Moreover, if you are that serious about their feelings–and not motivated by any other reason–then you need to know exactly WHY they don’t like it over there. Is dad strict? Maybe he needs to be. Does he enforce rules? That’s part of being a child. So don’t jump to conclusions and give the children the benefit of the doubt because whether they like it or not, they need BOTH parents to mature correctly.


Thank you for your reply.

My daughter and her younger sibblings wish to live with me full time because there are rules and boudaries in my home. My daughter does not like and can not take distuptions in my EX’s house hold. EX had a full time nanny working for him and she even mentioned that his house is a free for all. The Nanny have even called me to ask for my assiatnce with the kids over the phone, this is while EX is locked in his room choosing to ignore everything.

Teachers have noticed that my children wear the same dirty clothes to school, children did not brush their teeth or bathed. When the teachers try to call EX he does not answer the phone or return their call. He has yet to attend conferences or attend any plays.

I would love to fight for full custody but I have no money and my family are not well off by any means. What is the best course of action for me under these circumstances? Thank you.


You can go to the clerk of court in your county and ask for a change of custody motion. They will fill it out, file it, and advise you of a court date. You can go represented or not. However, if there is no child support paid because of your arrangement (joint physical custody) then get ready for a fight, because he’ll have to start paying at that point. Do what is truly best for your children, you already know the answer.


I am divorced and have young children. My EX abd I have joint custody 50/50, they spend one week with him and one week with me. My children have expressed that they are not happy when they are at their dad’s, they would rather live with me. My question to you is this, at what age do the children get to chose who they want to live with? My daughter has expressed her feelings to her dad and he told her that she can make her decision when she’s 18, is this true?