YOU NEED TO SEE A LAWYER.
If you have no agreement, then why are you paying 2K a month? Out of guilt? You can do a Child Support sheet that tells you LEGALLY what you owe. Your affair has nothing to do with what you owe her…nothing. She is guilting you to pay up and you’re doing it.
Believe me, the emotional aspect of divorce is hard. If it is YOU that wanted out, then you can be made to feel guilty by the other spouse. “Look what you did to our family”, “Look what you’ve done to me” “Why should I suffer for your mistake”. All those comments are made to beat you down.
You made a mistake. Nobody is perfect…only Jesus was perfect so they say. You acknowledge your mistake, ask for forgiveness, forgive yourself and then move on. You are NOT responsible for others’ feelings. Do NOT shoulder the guilt anymore-you’ll self destruct.
If you decide to re-do your money so that you are indeed supporting your kids as the law outlines, then do it. SHE will have to take the next step legally to change it otherwise (ie: agreement). You can file for divorce if you’ve been apart for a year and one day. Do so with a lawyer. File for ED and divorce. Do not continue to wallow is guilt-life is too short. Move on with your kids.