Hello wjma40
Man I feel your pain, hurt and more. Trust me I am going through about the samething you are. First she needs to go do not keep her I know its hard but to tell you the truth a cheat is a loser and a loser will cheat again and she knows this thats why she is telling you its your fault DO NOT let this pull you down. Mine did and I really thought that it was my doing but how did I make her see other men? How did I make her have sex with other men? The answer is NO I had nothing to do with this and I really feel this.
My STBX is a loser and she knows this just like any loser they try to make the other feel bad on what they did this is why they act the way they do lie cheat and do anything to get people to listen to them but in time these people find out and the losers life is up in the air and they do not know what to do.
Your case why do you need to get a PI? You have a receipt that she did it have an affair. Get her out and get on with it use the military for your case if its with a person in the military use this and take him too. Go and see the JAG I think this is what its called this will help you more then anything.
I was in the Navy I meet mine while I was in got out and went back and married her 17+ later well you know the story. Want more info email me and we can talk.
I know this is all very hard for you and its sucks and it really does but in time this will be all over in time mine will be and I can not wait trust me.
Bye for now hope to here from you
But I can tell you this if she is out of the house keep her out do not let her back in

I am so sorry that you are having to go thru this. I know the pain and heart break it causes. Here are 2 great forums that deal with just this that I have found very helpful. The people there are wonderful, all in the same boat, and understand every single thing you are feeling. It does help having a place to talk and vent and to read other posts of others and how they are dealing with it. Hope they help you as much as me. … ?Cat=0&C=2

Drop her. It only hurts for a minute, but the sooner you do, the sooner the healing begins…

Truely, it will take longer than a minute to get over the hurt, it’s a process you will have to go through, anger comes after the hurt, anger can have a mind of it’s own, keep busy and keep focus, the day
you go 2 hours without thinking about it, the healing process has begun.
Follow your head and not you heart, the heart will lie, don’t mistake pity for love.

Dear wjma40:

Greetings. I am not sure what you mean and what you are asking. You can separate from her or not. That is your recourse. You can also sue the man who she had an affair with. I don’t know your financial situation, but if you are the supporting spouse, then I would go ahead and hire a PI and an attorney. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

In June of 2003 while in California on training, my wife had a 4 or 5 week affair with another soldier. Of course I was not suppose to find out about it but as it turned out I did and she admitted everything, even that she had an abortion because she had gotten pregnant, (I have the receipt from the women’s clinic where she paid the bill). (What legal recourse do I have now, as I have yet to be able to get over what she did?? Of course it is all my fault that she had the affair (According to her).

Also I am not sure that it is not going on again, I am thinking seriously about hiring or at least talking with a PI, would I be wise to spend the money on a PI to find out??