I can completely understand where you are with this, but I will give you this bit of advice…do not accept total responsibility for this. A marriage takes two people to make it work or let it fail. You being on the computer may have made you distant from him but IMHO that would not be a good enough reason for him to be unfaithful. IMHO there’s never a good reason or excuse to cheat.
You giving up being on the computer and him giving up HAVING SEX and a RELATIONSHIP with another woman are two very different things.
I understand that you feel as though the rug has been pulled out from under you, I’ve been there before. Had I known then what I know now…I possibly wouldn’t be so bitter. I would have made sure that he understood that neglecting him was far less humiliating and painful than being unfaithful. To me, that is unforgivable.
If he is not willing to stop seeing her then YES your situation is hopeless. (Again, my opinion only) Would you want him to come back to you knowing that it could happen again? Knowing that he never took his marriage vows serious enough to talk to you and get counseling prior to having an affair? Knowing that he has had a relationship and sex with another woman. That he told her things about you and your marriage. He obviously didn’t think the marriage was worth a whole lot to start with or he wouldn’t have been so quick to toss it away.
I understand that people grow apart and change. I really do…but then you leave, you work through it…you do NOT cheat.
I’m sorry that this happened to you and I do not mean to sound harsh, but I wish that someone would have slapped me in the face and made me see that I should be angry about him cheating instead of so devastated that he left me! It’s his loss. I am a smart, attractive woman and I deserve better than that. He was lucky to have me.
You should believe that about yourself and it would make this a lot easier.
I suggest finding a support group and counseling. The biggest thing to remember is that everything does come back around…