Need to talk...this hurts so bad


#1

Please stop blaming yourself for this person’s problems. Obviously he is a consummate liar and may have even done this before. Quite likely there is something in his past that he has hidden from you that makes him lie or feel as though he needs to conceal his true feelings.
Please, please get some help for yourself to deal with this so you can be strong for your children and move on.


#2

Absolutely and without doubt this is “not” your fault. Do not blame yourself for his narcisstic behaviour.
Your must take care of yourself and children and get counseling - it works.


#3

I can fell your pain in all ways my now Ex told me the samething she cheated on me but all thats over now its my childern that I am working on so hard.
In your case I see that he just put all up and left not very cool from what you say I doing like him for what he has done to your family but very to do let it go give yourself a place for you and to rid of all just meditate. I did it and it works trust me on this it clears the mind but you first must want to.
I hope you in time will feel better and live life to the best with your children.


#4

I know it hurts…I feel your pain. As others said…and I know we are not walking in your shoes, but I have walked in the same style of shoe…be strong, the children need you healthy. Not eating or sleeping is going to make you ill. He wasn’t considerate enough to end it as an adult…I’m so sorry for that. Don’t let him see or hear your pain. You’re going to be fine, but it will take time. I’ll be praying for you. Take care.


#5

Original Poster (I have since forgot your username because it took the reply page 10 minutes to load for some reason, gee I just love dial-up)… I am so, so sorry this has happened to you. And so angry! How dare that man wake up beside you, tell he loves you, wants to buy you lunch and has just suddenly left, out of nowhere? Not only is that wrong and devastating to you, it’s so hurtful for your kids! That’s pure and simple abandonment. I just don’t understand why, if he truly wanted to leave, why he couldn’t have gently talked to you and let you know it was coming instead of hitting you with such emotional torture all at once.

It’s just not right, and it’s just not fair. So is life. And it sucks. I’m so sorry!

Please post back and update us on this situation.


#6

I am so sorry for what you are going through. There is no reasonable explanation. I was hit out of the blue as well and a good friend of mine also thought absolutely nothing was wrong with her marriage! She came home one day and found everything gone…just as you have done! I was cleaned out as well. Usually, it is a third party and the wife is the last to know! However, rest assured that even another romantic or sexual interest will not satisfy these types! It’s not YOU! You will recover! I promise! It hurts like hell, but you will recover and you will be better. Sadly, your “estranged” husband will never recover! Even though my ex walked away with the money and his “girlfriends”, he is a laughing stock! Remember, you deserve so much better than this! I’ve found happiness and love and you will too! It’s so much fun to put my handsome, sweet boyfriend in front of the louse I married! In time, you will prevail! Yes, you will!


#7

My husband and I reconciled back in September 2005 within days of our divorce being final. That day was one of the happiest days of my life - and here I am 2 1/2 years later in what feels like the worst day of my life.

Since we have been back together things have been great- or so I thought.

Wednesday was a typical morning…I was still in bed when my husband left for work - he leaned over and kissed me and told me he loved me. I called him on my way to work like I do everyday- everything was fine. Shortly after I got to work I received an email from him - he told me to let him know if I wanted him to bring me lunch-signed it “ily,me” (I love you) I tried calling his office number a few times during the day but didn’t reach him- on my way home I tried calling his cell…and got the following message “the nextel number you are trying to reach is no longer in service” Didn’t think much of it…when I got home and walked in the door all his things were gone and his wedding band was on the bathroom vanity. There was no note, no goodbye, no phone call…nothing. He has closed all joint accounts. He has changed all passwords to existing accounts.

This was a second marriage for us both- he is like a father to my children. He had a great relationship with them. He walked out on them too…for a second time! How could he do this to us? How can he sleep at night? I can not believe how much this hurts. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop thinking about him…wondering why…asking myself how long he’s been planning this…wondering what I could have done…SHOULD’VE done differently to prevent this from happening. I wonder how long he’s been unhappy.

I just wish that this was all a bad dream and I’m going to wake up and everything’s going to be okay.