[:(]I am sorry that your man has done this to you I am going though the same thing with STBX wife and I cannot wait for this. But mine is a little differnet then you I think. First thing I would ask you is do you FORGIVE him and do you LOVE him think very hard before you answer if not so why go though all of this. It will only bring bad things to come. You want to leave/seperate and start over great I can tell you this once a cheat alway a cheat they will do it again and again look and read from what I have they are losers you have not done nothing wrong to start this but you can end this think about all before you do anything it is not easy I have went though alot and the children and me soon this I hope will be all over.
If you ask me will I every take her back for what she has down I will tell you NEVER!!! 18+ to give it all away why should I take her back she is a cheat&loser why take back when I can find and I will find a better woman that needs love and wants to give love just like I want to give her love and all that she needs just like I need
Again I am sorry I hope this will help you
Bye for now
thanks, but that really didn’t answer my questions. Do I have to be divorced in order for file against the girl my husband cheated on me with?
No you do not have be divorced to file this but there is a time limit I think it is 3 yrs but I am not sure. I am doing the samething with her rat piece of S!@# I am going for AOA & CC I hope I do get this rat and for all he has. This did not just hit me but my children aswell but only time will tell and I do not know when it is going to start. I hope soon, I hope this helped you out but. Look on this site you can find out alot of info this is the forum but try rosen.com I found out so much from there site and it is great to learn how much you can do.
Sorry that I did not answer the last time this should give you some site in what you want to do
Bye for now and good luck to you
“I was wondering something…my husband just recently told me that he cheated on my back in Dec 2004. We agreed to work things out, but I am outraged. Can I file a claim on this girl for Alienation of affection or Criminal Conversation even though I am not going to get a divorce??”
I can understand your outrage, but if you’ve decided to work things out, why in the world would you want to drag up the past like that? You may not be planning on getting a divorce, but your husband may want to divorce you if you go through with an A of A or CC suit. I mean, it’s not like the other woman held him at gunpoint to have sex with him, did she? He was just as responsible for his actions. Besides, do you have $60,000 to spend?
You put in your own statement why to cheer99 and you have that you are working it out with him then why may I ask you do you want to do this to him?
I am doing this because I do not want her back she to me is a loser and will always be one and once they cheat they more then likely will do again its an EGO thing from what I read and heard but that does not matter its what you and him want if you can look over this and from what I read it is NO.
Yes you can file again why is the question
If you are not going to divorce over this then I do not see how you would go about using Alienation of Affection. I have highlighted in red the main reason. If you are remaining in the marriage how did this person destry the marital love or affection?
Alienation of Affection
An action for alienation of affection, on the other hand, does not require proof of extramarital sex. Despite this difference, an alienation claim
tends to be more difficult to establish because it is comprised of more elements and there are some additional defenses. To succeed on an alienation claim, the plaintiff has to show that (1) the marriage entailed love between the spouses in some degree; (2) the spousal love was alienated and destroyed; and (3) defendant’s malicious conduct contributed to or caused the loss of affection.</font id=“red”> It is not necessary to show that the defendant set out to destroy the marital relationship, but only that he or she intentionally engaged in acts which would foreseeably impact on the
marriage. Thus, defendant has a defense against an alienation claim but not to a claim for criminal conversation – where it can be shown that defendant did not know that the object of his or her affections was in fact married. As with a criminal conversation action, it is not a defense that the non-innocent spouse consented to defendant’s conduct. But it might be a defense that the defendant was not the active and aggressive seducer. If defendant’s conduct was somehow inadvertent, the plaintiff would be unable to show intentional or malicious action. But prior marital problems do not establish a defense unless such unhappiness had reached a level of negating
love between the spouses.
On the other hand you I supppose you could pursue Criminal Conversation.
Criminal conversation is the name for a civil lawsuit sounding in tort (a kind of injury to the person) based on sexual intercourse between the defendant and the plaintiff’s spouse. Criminal conversation is something like a “strict liability tort” because the only things the plaintiff has to prove are (1) an act of intercourse and (2) the existence of a valid marriage between the plaintiff and the adulterous spouse, and (3) the bringing of the lawsuit within the applicable statute of limitations. For all practical purposes, there are no obvious defenses to a timely claim for criminal conversation, provided the plaintiff can prove a valid marriage and
intercourse between the defendant and plaintiff’s spouse. It is not a
defense that: the defendant did not know the other person was married, that the person consented to the sex, that the plaintiff was separated from his or her spouse, that the other person actually seduced the defendant, that the marriage was an unhappy one, that the defendant’s sex with the spouse did not otherwise impact on the plaintiff’s marriage, that plaintiff had mistreated the spouse, or that the plaintiff had also been unfaithful. It might be a defense that the plaintiff “consented” to the illicit intercourse; but defendant would have to show that this approval or encouragement had pre-dated the extramarital conduct.
I do have to say it does blow my mind that it is the other girl that you have aimed your anger at. Your husband took a vow and then broke it. He is a grown man who makes his own decisions. If you stay with him then in my opinion you accept it as it is and move on. If you want to go through a court battle I think you would be better off to start with a divorce and then maybe pursue the other women.
[:0]MP
Dear cheer99:
Greetings. Hypothetically you could still sue her even if she cheated, but aren’t you really just displacing your anger onto someone else. Your spouse is the one who lied to you, cheated on you, and made the decision to hurt you. Thank you.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
the reason why i want to file is that my husband said that she knows me and i know her, it is someone i might have seen on a daily basis. I can’t figure out who it is, but i have a strong suspision of who it is. i just need to find the proof. i am really mad at both of them, but she is just as at fault as my husband since she knows me and knows all about me. so i feel like i have a right to sue her. i’m still not over it and think about it several times a day. if my husband wants to divorce me after all this, then thats fine, i’ll just sue him too.
Your husband won’t come clean about who it is? That’s a big red flag in my opinion. I think you should rethink reconciling with him. Why would you want to be with someone who is so dishonest that they would cheat on you and then NOT be upfront and honest about EVERYTHING when they told you? It sounds like you have a lot of anger and resentment, which is very understandable. But spending the money and energy on a AofA or CC lawsuit isn’t going to make you feel better in the long run.
BTW, my soon to be ex-husband had an affair with someone who knew me, saw me on a regular basis and pretended to be my friend while they were seeing each other. I understand the anger. It sucks. But I am putting my energy into learning to live without my husband and being a better person for it, instead of wasting my energy filing expensive lawsuits. I have better ideas for how to spend my money. I hope you can find peace and think about, really, why are you still with this man?
I agree alot with what everyone here is saying. 2 things though, if you are attempting to work it out, dont pursue the issue any further. Number 2, it would be alot different if you yourself, hadn’t cheated on him with another man while the 2 of you were still married. In no way shape or form was he ever sued or pursued from my understanding. You are a big girl and responsible for your own actions as is your husband. The issue about the gun to the head is 100% true, it takes 2, not 1 if that were the case half of the population would stay single.
Yes Im assuming you are who I think you are by your username and your real name so if thats the case I know you. Im here with similar issues and looking for advice. If you are not the person I think you are then I apologize.
Hi cheer99
My first post was put in 8-27 but you never answered my question. It is not easy to say goodbye to this very hard but in time it will just like me almost 1 year and soon I will be free from a loser but for me the out come is great it has made me look at me from the eyes of others and I see and I have learned what I what and what I what to give. We will find each other and it will be soon very soon.
The first few odd months will be hard be the out come again will be great this will be the start of a new life trust me I did it.
Thanks
You will have a new life…do what is best for you. Life is full of “choices” make the best one for you. You are worth more than someone who cheats and can not be faithful. What else has you mislead you about?
this is funny. you all have to realize that a marriage goes both ways. as in her case she is just as much at fault for the failures in it as her husband is. she cheated on him more times than 1 in the beginning and was caught, she had men over at their house while he was asleep and would also sneak out to visit guys at night. He gave up on her and has tried to pursue a life that will make him happy and their daughter mostly. Now that the tables have turned and he is the one looking for an out she is only looking to seek vengance for his doings and not forgiveness for her own.
“Now that the tables have turned and he is the one looking for an out she is only looking to seek vengance for his doings and not forgiveness for her own.”
He doesn’t seem to be looking for an out if he is STILL with her after all this and had an affair almost a year ago! And it’s no excuse that he had an affair just because she was running around on him. If he didn’t like her behavior, he would have had every reason in the world to leave her. But he stayed, thereby acknowledging that her behavior was acceptable. And then turned around and did the same thing! Not acceptable, no matter what she did first. I don’t agree that she should file any sort of suit against his cheatmate, regardless. She’s also accepted his behavior by staying with him after his affair, so there’s no reason to file a claim against anyone else. They both need to either get out or forgive and move on! That’s my two cents…
Dear cheer99:
Greetings again. You cannot sue someone if you don’t know their name. I would suggest that you get her name through litigation with your husband. Thank you.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
hi
hope some one can help me my wife just left me for another man (she met at work he left his wife to) she left me with my 2 kids and of course all the bills she sprung the news on me sunday moved out monday and in with him now she is talking about filing separation papers i dont know if they are gonna get married but that is not my question the affair according to her has been going on for a few months(i had not idea man im a fool) the alienation of affection law does a lawyer have to file that because money is gonna be tight with just my 1 income. and she doesnt want to try to work it out she wants out now i have to think about my kids and make sure they have what they need she has agreed to child support for now or are there any places i can go to for a lawyer like a public devorce lawyer that isnt gonna cost me alot??
thanks for any help
Thanks for any help
broken hearted
Actually she has made it rathe simple for you,you need to hurry and get a attorney and it might not cost she might end up paying a portion of you attorney fees (maybe all) once you tell the attorney what happen the will have a field day with her but based on what you said you will get pretty much everything you ask for if you are telling the truth. everything you ever heard about a “woman taking a man for everything he has”, now its your turn, She cheating on you(adultry) left the kids(abandonment). I’m not a attorney and don’t really trust them but with your case a attorney will get you everything that you got coming. I actually think a female attorney is better for men in a divorce and custody case because 1- they know how females think and 2 they can see right through your lies and bull****. Good Luck
Dear tjones:
Greetings. First, I would focus on getting child support and resolving your equitable distribution and alimony claims, if any, before trying to sue this other man for alienation of affection.
Yes, most attorneys charge you to file an alienation of affection lawsuit. Thank you.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
Hi-
I was wondering something…my husband just recently told me that he cheated on my back in Dec 2004. We agreed to work things out, but I am outraged. Can I file a claim on this girl for Alienation of affection or Criminal Conversation even though I am not going to get a divorce?? I read on the site about both, but I wasn’t clear if I had to be divorced or not to file a claim.
Thanks!