I have been sued for this as well. Mine has just been settled. It is a bs lawsuit.She is suing you for destroying their marriage which was probably destroyed before he ever met you. Even so, you need to contact an attorney and tell them everything (even if you have slept together, etc). They need to know everything. It is expensive to defend yourself against this. Approximately 10,000 in my case. However in my case, he & his wife were only married a 2 years and had no kids. She left him numerous times but then found out he was seeing me after she left the last time and she decided she wanted to see how much money she could get from me. This website will most likely not offer much support, as most people on here are not discussing this type of thing or either they are trying to sue for the same thing. Mine sounds very similar to yours except for the fact that they were not living together after we me for the first time, even though we did speak about a week prior to her leaving. Good luck. Post back if you have a specific questions and I will answer. These type of lawsuits should be stopped.
Dear ComingClean:
Sure, you can ask for evidence if you want to. Hope that helps.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
First, I’d like to commend you on taking responsibility for your own actions. Not a lot of people do that, especially when it involves these sort of matters. That may not make you feel any better, but it shows what sort of person you are. There are a lot of people on this board that ask about defending against this…but sadly, I don’t see many responses.
Secondly, most of the time A of A lawsuits are designed to make the other party pay, even if the couple reconcile. I do not agree with this. Now, if the couple do actually divorce and it’s specifically because of the third party, then I think that the third party should be held accountable and this is sometimes the only way for that to happen. The reason that no one likes to admit that they are in a terrible marriage is because they would then have to do something about it. Most people are not prepared to do that regardless of what the costs are of living your life in misery. If he can show that the marriage wasn’t “happy” and that your involvement had no influence over his decision to separate then there’s really nothing that can be done. I would think that she would have to divulge whatever “proof” she has for this suit and you have a right to defend against that. She has to prove that there was a viable marriage and I do hope that your friend is going to testify on your behalf in this…?
Just a word of caution. Though I don’t know what sort of man he is, I know that you can’t actually “steal” someone’s husband or wife because it takes two people to have an affair. But I also know that if someone cheats for you or with you, they will cheat on you.
Good Luck and keep us posted!
quote:
[i]Originally posted by ComingClean[/i] [br]I recently got a letter from a lawyer claiming that I would be persued for Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation if I didn't respond within 14 days.
That doesn’t make a lot of sense. Either a suit has been filed in court or it hasn’t. If a suit were filed, you would be served with papers, notsent a letter from some lawyer. If they haven’t filed, it, then I wouldn’t get too worried, it’s probably just some bullying threat that can and should be ignored. What is the “14 days or else” all about? And what “response” is being demanded? Be careful, they might be fishing to try to get you to admit something.
Again, if a suit has not actually been filed in a court of law, it is just big talk…
I didn’t notice this, but whitelinefever has a point. You should have been served a court summons not a letter from an attorney. What are you supposed to respond to?
Hello all:
Sometimes before I file a lawsuit for alienation of affection/criminal conversation I will send a letter with a demand for payment. This is a way for everyone to settle the case without expensive attorney fees that would be involved in litigation. Hope that helps.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
quote:
[i]Originally posted by JanetFritts[/i] [br]Hello all:Sometimes before I file a lawsuit for alienation of affection/criminal conversation I will send a letter with a demand for payment.
How much do you normally “demand” and what is the typical response from the recipient of your letter?
Good question. Does it make a difference in the amount the lawyer “demands” if the couple reconciled? And is there someplace on the home site for someone to read an actual case on this? I’d like to see a case that the defense won and one that the plaintiff won…
There are approximately 200 cases filed a year in NC. Only 50 go to trial. Mine was actually going to trial (I was being sued) and on the date of the trial, the judge asked the attorneys if this could not be settled out of court. I had offered $6000 at the mediation just because I was paying more than that to defend myself (against something I did not do!). Her attorney asked if I would still be willing to pay that $6000 and I agreed. Originally when I got the papers from her attorney, she was suing me for $50,000. I think she didnt want to have to work for 2 years! I would have never paid her had it not been that I had spent $7500 defending myself. I dont know how someone could actually win won of these. Maybe it would be different if your husband left you after 30 years for someone else… I dont know. But people want to sue over anything these days and they dont want to take any of the blame for the marriage failing.
quote:
[i]Originally posted by thedefendant[/i] [br]I had offered $6000 at the mediation just because I was paying more than that to defend myself (against something I did not do!).
I don’t understand this. If you were innocent, why didn’t you call her bluff and let her go broke trying to sue you. She can’t win unless she provides proof and she can’t have proof if you are in fact innocent. Then when she lost, you could sue HER for all of your legal costs. Why would you give a liar and a blackmailer $6,000?
I am innocent. I didnt break up her marriage. I spoke to her husband 2 times before they separated ( we are in the same business) and started dating him after she left him. I was told that legally, she couldnt win anything regarding the Alienation of Affection, but she could possibly have won something on the Criminal Conversation side. Which is crazy, because dont most people move on with their lives after they get separated and starting dating? I am sure some want to continue to be miserable and play the victim. Either way, I did what I was advised to do. Believe me, I wanted to go through with the trial and prove that I was innocent. But I was also warned that some in a jury may think it was wrong that “Criminal Conversation” had occurred before they actually divorced.
quote:
[i]Originally posted by ComingClean[/i] [br]I got hand-delivered an envelope (from who we now know is the woman's brother) to my work from her attorney.Your boyfriend’s ex-wife is sending her brother to your place of employment to harass you?? Call the sheriff next time and have him removed.
As far as being “served” with anything, only a sheriff or other official process-server can do that.
[quote]SO…it’s a letter of intent, I suppose. If I don’t contact them within the 14 days…they will file suit.
</blockquote id=“quote”></font id=“quote”>Well, actually are just threatening to file suit. Hoping you will cave in and agree to giving them money. IF they REALLY had a case, they would have filed first, had you served by the sheriff, then waited for you to beg to be allowed to settle.
Under no circumstances should you call that attorney again and do not accept ANY letters that anyone attempts to send certified, registered or hand-delivered. Definately keep your appt with your attorney, but if it were me, I’d ignore the letter/threat/deadline and just sit tight.
quote:
[i]Originally posted by ComingClean[/i] [br]I got hand-delivered an envelope (from who we now know is the woman's brother) to my work from her attorney.
My comment on this got lost in formatting in my previous post.
I would alert security at your workplace to bar this person from the property and have him arrested for trespassing if, after that, he attempts to shove any papers at you. Press charges for stalking/harassment if he tries to contact you in other locations.
Again, if they had a REAL case and REALLY intended to file, they would have had a REAL process server serve you with the letter. Her brother?? Meh, I wouldn’t lose any sleep over this at all, it all sounds like an amateurishly done bluff to me. Ignore them unless you get some kind of actual summons from the court.
quote:
Am I due any proof
Hell no. Why would they “show their cards” now? Assuming they even had any, it would be foolish for them to reveal what they have, giving you time to gather/create evidence to counter theirs before the trial.
It is only in a criminal trial that the defense is entitled to “discovery”, which is a summary of the evidence against the accused. This is NOT the case with a civil suit such as the kind you have been threatened with.
The only thing you’re going to “get” from your opponent’s attorney is an aggessive, obnoxious power-play full of insinuations and threats. All of which are designed to frighted you badly and cow you into settling. Again, I would have NO communication whatsoever with ANYONE connected with the STBX’s camp, including her lawyer, and wait to see if they actually file something.
quote:
[i]Originally posted by ComingClean[/i] [br]Here's another question. I'll ask my lawyer, but it's on my mind now. IF this thing becomes a case or settlement or whatever, does that mean she can't come after me again at a later date? Is there like a 'double jeopardy' clause for this type of suit?
Don’t worry about that. If this thing actually goes anywhere, and is settled, any settlement agreement worth the paper it’s written on would force the STBX to agree to forever release you from any and all future claims, suits, actions, etc. This would be legally binding on her.
You really don’t need to worry about that happening with the kids. Kids aren’t usually even allowed in the court room for custody cases much less something like this. If they are told about it or mom brings them to court, he could use that in custody battle with her by her actions being detrimental to the children.
I don’t know what would be asked, that’s why I asked if there was somewhere to read actual cases where both sides won. I’d like to see that and see what was asked, who testified, and how exactly the courts come up with an amount.
If it comes down to her word against his about the state of their marriage, you saw the separation papers that were dated…
quote:
[i]Originally posted by ComingClean[/i] [br]IF the "settlement request" is totally unreasonable (like over 10K or something)
If you are innocent, ANY attempt at a cash grab from you is totally unreasonable. [:D]
These types of law suits should never be stopped. These are part and parcel to a marriage. Fidelity and trust is the basis of a marriage not to mention love. Anyone who decides to jump into the middle of that needs to pay the price…financially, emotionally, and materially. That is the only protection the opposite spouse has against anyone who was abandoned.
quote:
[i]Originally posted by ssteach714[/i] [br]These types of law suits should never be stopped. These are part and parcel to a marriage. Fidelity and trust is the basis of a marriage not to mention love. Anyone who decides to jump into the middle of that needs to pay the price...financially, emotionally, and materially. That is the only protection the opposite spouse has against anyone who was abandoned.
These lawsuits serve a purpose to make the third party who is also at fault, along with the unfaithful spouse, take responsibility for their part in these situations. The spouse that was “abandoned” has NO protection even though they may be able to get money from someone. The loss of trust, fidelity and love are still there with the spouse regardless of whether there is a third person involved. And there is no reason to hold the third person responsible for the breakdown of your marriage if you are not holding your spouse responsible also. In my opinion, the spouse should pay a much higher price than someone that they got involved with and that doesn’t necessarily mean money.
As I’ve stated, sometimes, the only way for the third party to be held accountable for their actions is these suits…that doesn’t mean that it is always ONLY their fault.
It’s not always the case that the third party has all the information either. My X never told any of the other women he was with that I existed so now why would they feel guilty or be made to pay money to me when it was my X that lied and cheated?