Alienation of affection


#1

If you are suing for money it is not worth it. If you are suing for revenge it is not worth it. If you are suing to protect assets that are far in excess of what you could potentially get from a AofA lawsuit then it might be worth it.

Ask your self what do you want from your stbx? Will an AofA help you get it? If you have everything via a sep agreement then it is not worth it. Just my opinion.


#2
quote:
[i]Originally posted by kblack03[/i] [br]I was told that it is not worth suing the other person if they do not make alot of money( and what is alot). I was told it is too costly for the one suing in the end. Is this true and how do they determine how much they sue for. My stbx has a person on the side and she has a business that is probably quite a bit of cash flow. Not sure how they would figure out her income. Is it also based on her spouse and her income because that would change the income amt. greatly. Also, she is the one who told me about the affair and that is was going on while she was married. Thanks

kim black



#3

[quote]Originally posted by kblack03
[br]I was told that it is not worth suing the other person if they do not make alot of money( and what is alot). I was told it is too costly for the one suing in the end. Is this true and how do they determine how much they sue for. My stbx has a person on the side and she has a business that is probably quite a bit of cash flow. Not sure how they would figure out her income. Is it also based on her spouse and her income because that would change the income amt. greatly. Also, she is the one who told me about the affair and that is was going on while she was married.

Not sure what you mean by protecting assets. My spouse had TREMENDOUS hidden income and the list goes on. I would sue her for revenge,spite,etc, but more importantly, I would put the money into a college fund for my kids because THEY are the most important issue. I am absolutely sure their sorry father will not take care of college. He has above and beyond capabilities to, but he would not spite me…As if I am the one that has lived a double life. $$$ is far the most important thing to him and I hope it serves him well. I on the other hand, would like to make sure my kids are taken care of.
Thanks


#4

Then get your pocket book out.


#5
quote:
[i]Originally posted by kblack03[/i] [br]I was told that it is not worth suing the other person if they do not make alot of money( and what is alot). I was told it is too costly for the one suing in the end. Is this true and how do they determine how much they sue for. My stbx has a person on the side and she has a business that is probably quite a bit of cash flow. Not sure how they would figure out her income. Is it also based on her spouse and her income because that would change the income amt. greatly. Also, she is the one who told me about the affair and that is was going on while she was married. Thanks

kim black



#6

Hi kblack03,
I hope an attorney will answer your questions. I find it fascinating that certain people on the forum JUMP on posters like yourself when questions are asked regarding the charges of Alienation of Affection and/or Criminal Conversation. If you do a search back through posts, you will see where some of these advise givers have admitted either being guilty of these charges or being guilty of sleeping with and/or flirting with someone other than his/her spouse.
Just be careful and consider the source when contemplating advise from someone on a web forum. Again, I hope an attorney answers your questions. Take Care and good luck.

gotanswers


#7

Most of the answer for Kate HAS been answered by duplicate posts and not by just folks who may or may not be guilty of AoA or CC. A lawyer has answered those posts too. The point of the forum is to share experience, give advice as well as get the lawyer’s reply.

Persuing a case like this IS expensive. That advice I’m sure the lawyer will agree to. If one sues for vengence sake and they don’t have the money to do so-they just want to sue because they’re hurt and angry and want to ‘get back’ at the person, then I personally believe it is for the wrong reason and it isn’t worth the emotional toil and financial expense. But the persuer has to make that decision and the recipient has to accept and deal with the legal aspects.

That is what this forum is about-advice and sharing. You are new so I assume you’ve just been reading up or you have your own issue to post to the forum?


#8

I would have to agree that from what I’ve read, AofA and CC are expensive to pursue and difficult to prove also. This has been posted by multiple attorneys on here as well as people who have looked into pursuing it previously.

From what I’ve read of kblack03 posts, it sounds as though she has gone through a very traumatic event in her life and is still angry and bitter. That’s normal and expected. But suing someone who may eventually end up being part of your ex’s or children’s lives is not something to take lightly. The people giving the advice to think it through completely before deciding this seem to have her and her children’s best interest in mind. It’s consistently been a good way to waste time and money that could be better used for the children, starting your new life without the stb lousy ex, or taking a vacation with your children.

I’ll be interested in seeing what advise you give to any posters this forum. Most of us have been through this or are going through this and can tell you what makes a difference in court and what the courts don’t care about. We can tell you what will you could expect to happen when your children get older and that in 6 months or a year, none of this stuff will matter unless YOU persist in making it matter. If YOU don’t let go of the anger and resentment YOU are the one that loses. We can also tell you that the ONLY people that win in custody cases are the attorneys. The children ALWAYS lose which means that both parents always lose. In looking at the big picture, what kind of person do you want your children to see?


#9

I agree with Stepmother. My origial response post was actually directed at ‘gotanswers’. It sounded as if her/his post needed to partially go to the Emotional Issue section. Although we all vent here, that post seemed to be directed to all the posters that have or are going through this and the tome was in a sort of smart-assed way. Don’t take advise from someone who has been through it or is going through it? I think THAT is bad advice. We should not let our personal bitterness rub off on someone who is just looking for help and support or advice.


#10

kblack03 -
In response to your two posts…I suggest that you take a long difficult look at your situation and decide if a lengthy legal route is what you would want to take. You said you want to make sure your children are taken care of and that you do not believe that their father will be responsible about this. If you have not already signed an agreement then maybe you should consider that an agreement/settlement could cover the children, a child support amount in excess of what the guidelines suggest, and alimony for you.
If your ex has so much more income and assets than were available to you then it’s going to be expected that he will be willing to hire an attorney for this woman.
From what I’ve read on here, normal procedure is for your attorney to first send a letter stating that there is a desire to settle prior going to court an Alienation of Affection suit. Then, if the other party does not respond or is willing to pay an attorney to fight this, it would go to court where you would have to show that you had a viable marriage prior to this person’s involvement, and that this person had direct influence on your spouse’s affections for you in detail. Figuring what your attorney charges, and what you are likely to get from a settlement or from taking this to court, you may decide that you would do better to get your children’s finacial security through their father instead of his girlfriend.
I do not believe that her spouse’s income would be in any way used in determining the amount unless she is still married. If she is also separated then the income would be hers alone. It would also be difficult to show her income or finacial assets if she is also going through a divorce because her situation is not finalized…this is where the attorneys can draw the process out. If her business is to be divide then what you would gain would have to be taken from her half and could not be determined until her equitable distribution is settled…


#11

I am not sure what your specific question is so I will try to give you some general information. Judgments in Alienation of Affections cases are all over the place, there are some instances where the person suing gets a million dollars and some instances where they get nothing, it depends not only on the assets the person sued has, but also on the type of conduct they engaged in, and the status of the marriage before this third party became involved.

No matter what the facts are, these lawsuits are expensive if you hire an attorney to represent you.

If this does not answer your question, please try to tell me more specifically what your question is.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

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The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#12

I was told that it is not worth suing the other person if they do not make alot of money( and what is alot). I was told it is too costly for the one suing in the end. Is this true and how do they determine how much they sue for. My stbx has a person on the side and she has a business that is probably quite a bit of cash flow. Not sure how they would figure out her income. Is it also based on her spouse and her income because that would change the income amt. greatly. Also, she is the one who told me about the affair and that is was going on while she was married. Thanks

kim black