This is a little bit hairy so I’ll do my best not to be extremely wordy and try to just get the facts out here so I can get an answer.
Husband and I got involved with a third party some years ago (female). I did NOT want to be involved. However, my husband at that point was violent and angry and I figured if it calmed him down and made life a little more sane then alright. It didn’t last long and I finally had enough and said that I was out of it and didn’t want anything to do with the relationship. I let them go on and do their thing for a while but after a while, I couldn’t stand it any longer as he was neglecting his children to be with her and talk to her so despite my fear of him, I told him I wanted it to stop. He told me that I wouldn’t take away the best thing that’s ever happened to him and continued the affair. I have a chat that shows where I went to her and asked her to stop and she said no and it wasn’t up to us, it was his choice. My parents took the girls on vacation for a week (they didn’t know anything like this was going on) and I left him at that time for a few days. He begged me to come back and said things would be different and they were for a short while but then he went back to his old ways, always trying to get me to go to Swingers clubs, etc. and I was done with it. At that point I tried to look for a full time job and save some money to leave. I still hadn’t told my parents any of this because I was embarrassed being a domestic violence victim and having not reached out.
About 6-7 months later, I started going out and pursuing more of my singing career. I was singing at the VFW a lot and there was a gentleman who was as good a singer as I. Both of us had been trying to pursue gigs alone but when we started singing together, we started getting a lot more gigs. He became my best friend and someone that helped me through what I was dealing with. He knew that I was planning on leaving once I got some money together (unfortunately in this economic market, that just wasn’t going well). We talked and texted all the time because my husband had alienated ALL of my friends from me. He knew that my partner and I were singing at places together. Eventually my partner and I fell in love and we did have an affair. However, it didn’t last long and we stopped. We still remained friends though and he was still the one person I could trust to help me when I needed it. The husband knew all about this the entire time and I certainly wasn’t going to lie about it.
Fast forward. I eventually went to counseling for domestic violence after several very bad bouts with him and there were several times when my singing partner and I just stopped having any conversation because he had enough that he was dealing with as well but eventually we’d start talking again. I got a job, my parents helped me get out of the house (with the help of my attorney) and moved my daughters and I somewhere on our own. This is where we’ve been since then. My partner and I have picked up our friendship and have started seeing one another now that I’m out of the house. He loves the girls and treats them well and has been there to help me out financially whereas my STBX has fought paying ANY child support and still owes about $2000 in arrears.
Well, now the STBX has served him with AoA/CC, trying to get $10,000. I have all kinds of information showing that my singing partner was NOT the reason for me leaving. My parents will even testify if they need to. I guess I would like to know what needs to be done. Can my attorney represent him or does he even NEED an attorney if he has witnesses? And what sort of proof do I need in order to show that he was not the reason I left (even though we are seeing one another now). My attorney sent the STBX attorney a letter stating that my partner would be present at pick up and drop off of the children and that would be for my protection. We have been separated since November, I served him with Divorce from Bed And Board papers back in February prior to the separation and he is only NOW serving my friend with these papers. I know all he’s doing is trying to take someone else out of my life as he has tried to do for 10 years and is trying to take someone away from my daughters that they love.
I understand that the cases are difficult to win. My friend currently has no income to speak of and has been out of work for two years (despite his attempts to find work). He owns no property, has no savings … nothing. So what happens?
Any help would be appreciated. Thank you!!