Sorry for the long post but want to give background.
I have substantial proof of their affair stretching across the past 18 months. it started as texts/instant messages, grew to inappropriate pictures and sexting. I confronted her and she moved out October of last year. she said communication with him was over and knew it was wrong. We were married 18 years & have 3 children together so I want to make it work.
I contacted him in December & told him to no longer contact my wife because we were working on our marriage and i was trying to save my family & the reason we got separated was because of their inappropiate communication. he admitted to the communication and stated he was not willing to ruin his marriage and his girls…told me it was over. I told him “no more contact, or else”
Across the winter we were working on things & going to marriage counceling and she returned to our home in Feb of this year. I knew something wasnt right the end of April & found messages that they were still communicating & actualy had met in March to consumate the affair. He lives in another state and they met in CA while she was traveling for work.
I was devastated & had to accept I couldn’t stop this affair because her lying daily to cover it up. I started calling attorneys to pursue divorce.
I started gathering proof which was easy because his communication was constant daily (500 IM messages/week plus sexual pictures & the occational phone call, plus they referenced naked SKYPE) & saw they were meeting again the end of May. She had another work trip & lied to everyone where she was traveling to & met him in his home town. I hired a PI there & have pictures/video of them together. Met at liquor store, went to hotel for 4 hours, dinner for 3 hours & back to hotel for over an hour…he went home & returned the next morning to “deliver coffee in bed”
When she returned home things were very difficult for me to process & a week later things blew up when I saw messages referencing their sexual encounter on her phone. She attacked me knowing what I saw on her phone which resulted in Assault charges on both of us & a restraining order against me. Last week we had the assault charges dismissed against each other.
That same week in June she sued me for Divorce from Bed & Board, child support, and sole custody. I have since gotten my own place to live so I can have my children half the time. While our marriage wasn’t perfect (we have 3 teen-agers) her affair is the specific reason for our temporary separation and now Divorce proceeding. He is married & his wife still doesn’t know!!! My wife told me in June it was over after the blow-up & I confirmed they met again in a hotel in CA in August. He knows their relationship caused our issues but it still continues & has progressed. He has no plans of leaving his wife/family.
I can’t get past his involvement and constant sexting with my wife because it is the “distraction” (as she admits) that won’t allow her to think clearly. This situation has caused me extreme anxiety/depression because I have lost my wife & she has unplugged from being a caring loving person/wife/ Mother to our 3 children. It is so hard to accept & at times feel I don’t want to be divorced but she has already filed & continues the affair.
2 Questions: “Is an alienation of affection & criminal conversation suit worth pursuing with all this evidence and her admission of his constant communication and 3 different occations of being sexually intimate (2 times while we were living together, once after I was put out of my home). He & his wife both have good jobs of 10+ years, lives in a 300k house & drive decent newer cars.”
“How often are these suits settled & what assets are subject to being tapped?”
I understand these suits are very costly & I’m already not comfortable with the money being spent on attorneys for the divorce, I would much rather spend this small fortune on our children. Ultimately I need to bring this affair to light with his wife and want the consequences of his actions to cause him the pain I am living with. This guy is a Homewrecker & I need his family to know he ruined my marriage and my family, which is making my children suffer.
I know it’s alot of info but any insight, guidance, or advice is greatly appreciated!!!