Become familiar with the law. Also be aware that only a few cases are ever won, and that the litigation is extremely expensive. It sounds to me like your husband may be the kind that can’t commit completely. A menage a trois isn’t supposed to be a RELATIONSHIP, it’s supposed to be an EXPERIENCE (I’m guessing here) so what your husband did is actually fall in love with someone else–although my guess is that it’s more like lust. If he’s had relations with her then consider your legal alternatives if you feel the act is unforgivable; if he hasn’t, get a counselor and START TALKING.
Yes that is exactly what it was supposed to be was a one time experience for all of us. But of course, before it happened, they decide that they are in love. I think it is bull.
I do not beleive that it is lust but I do not beleive that it is love. I think he just wants to stop fighting and he thinks that if I think that I am going to lose him then I will stop being so “overly” jealous and it is true, I was very insecure about myself but to do this to me…it’s just mean.
[quote]Originally posted by fatlilbeagle
A menage a trois isn’t supposed to be a RELATIONSHIP, it’s supposed to be an EXPERIENCE (I’m guessing here) so what your husband did is actually fall in love with someone else–although my guess is that it’s more like lust.
Dear Mislead by a “friend”:
How horrible for you. Put a stop to this immediately. First, put your foot down with your husband. It is decision time. Who knows what he is really doing out of your sight…you can’t trust him in his current mindset. Next, send her a letter and tell her how she is destroying your marriage. Lastly, threaten her with a lawsuit if she does not stop interfering with your marriage. I would also try marriage counseling if I were you.
Remember, this is not your fault. Your husband is making some bad choices and using guilt and manipulation to make you think that you should behave differently. Just be you. If he has chosen someone else, it will hurt, but it will be better than living a lie. Best of luck…keep your head up.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
Ok this is a complicated situation but, I will try to keep it to the majors and not confuse you. I have been married to my husband for 7 years and we have had some difficult times but always managed to make it through them. We have both cheated and made it through that. Well about 6 months ago, a girl he works with started talking to him after her boyfriend broke up with her. My husband didn’t like the guy so he told her to pretend to be his girlfriend for 2 hours. Okay well, it became a friendship and she gave him her telephone number and he gave her ours. He came home and told me about it and said that she was going to call that night. He told me to answer the phone so, I threw out any suspicion of anything then. She called and I answered the phone and we talked and got along ok. He got on the other phone in our house and we all conversed for several hours. It turned out that we (me and her) had a lot in common. Over the course of a few months me and her were really closer than I had ever imagined. I trusted her and told her things that I thought I might never tell anyone. After awhile, he mentioned having a threesome and he had mentioned it before with another girl but it never happened and I had hoped it wouldn’t come up again. But, it did. Well anyway, I was kind of curious but not really to the point of actually going through with it I don’t think. But I knew that she had made excuses sooo many times before about coming over,for any reason, and I felt safe in saying ok to the threesome and figured that since she always made excuses about coming that I would never have to go through with it anyway. Well time goes by and we are all talking every night on the computer and I was taking him to work and going on breaks and seeing them both. After about 5 months into the “friendship” I started noticing things like him always getting mad if she couldn’t get online and he had already seen her at work at all the breaks and when he first got there and all this. It struck me as something was forming between them because he was constantly jealous if she mentioned anything about another guy and even told her that he was jealous. I started confronting him about it and it made him mad and he denied that he loved her or anything else for a long time. Well then I went against his wishes and confronted her with my concerns and asked her about her feelings and what she would think if it was her. Well at, first she denied any feelings other than a really good friend that she cared alot about and agreed with me about how he was acting. Then she would tell me not to worry that nobody but me had his heart and he wasn’t going anywhere and if he did she would hurt him badly. She said that even if she did have feelings for him that she would never go to the extreme of being with him if he left me and especially if he left me for her. She said he would just be without both of us. She was always saying that she couldn’t wouldn’t hurt me the way it would hurt for her to be with my husband and that sheloved me like a sister and just simply could not and would not do that…ever!!! Well, now he has admitted that he loves her and she has admitted to loving him. She has told him that she wants him and to be with him. She has told him that she loves him the way that she has loved only one other guy and that she would choose him over her family or anyone. He has said that he loves us both and wants us both but that he knows that will never happen. I have told him that if he goes to her in any way then he need not try to make a decision between the two of us, it will be made for him. I mean I am still his wife and he is still coming to my home and sleeping in my bed everynight and we still do things as a family and as a couple(if you know what I mean) he still tells me that he loves me all the time everyday, everynight before we go to bed and everyday he leaves for work and when he calls me from work and hangs up. I am not sure what to believe but I do believe that she is pulling at him to go ahead and leave me and the kids and come to her and he has said that when he is at home with me and we are getting along and things are good with us he is so close to saying that he is going to tell her that he loves me and that he is going to stay with me, but then he goes to work and she is there and they spend time together and he feels the same way about her…like why not it’s worth a try. But he never does either. I’m not exactly familiar with the alienation of affection law but, if he does leave me and go to her, could I sue her for alienation of affection?