After much research, I can’t find the answer to this question or find resources for help. I have been in a bad situation for many years and really need to take the leap and leave. This will not be amicable and my husband (former divorce atty in another state) will do whatever he can think of to manipulate me. He regularly tells me he will fight me for custody or withhold college funds from our oldest child. So my question is, what is the best way to move out? Can I take the kids with me? What do I do when he follows me and orders them to go with him? I am confident he will not entertain any separation agreement talk while I am still living with him - it will be riddled with threats.
Also, are there any resources for someone who needs help to move but has no resources. My husband keeps all of the money hidden. He only deposits in the bank what is needed to clear the bank account and hides the car keys when we get into a fight. He works 1 day a week outside of the home, so I am limited on time alone to strategize. In addition, I am a stay at home mom with little income and can’t even seem to figure out how to rent an apartment because my income is so low and credit poor from non use. I feel very trapped.
You will need to file a lawsuit against your husband for marital claims if he will not negotiate with you out of court. However, you must be separated in order to do so unless you are filing for a domestic violence protective order or for divorce from bed and board (requires fault grounds).
If he will not voluntarily leave and you do not file an action against him for divorce from bed and board, you will have to be the one to leave. You can take the children with you, but it is not advisable to remove them from the State of North Carolina. I am not familiar with resources to help you move other than the traditional methods of borrowing money from the bank, credit cards, or family members.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
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I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Can you change the locks? Then say he moved out but is trying to get back in?
I would get money together before you leave. Sell some things on his one day he is gone. Set it up so you have a lot of
people coming to buy things that day. Post on craigslist. Keep an eye out for apartments that do not do credit checks.
Maybe you can get on the wait list for section 8. Get an application filled out for food stamps so it’s ready to drop off or mail in once you leave. Find all the places you will need to help you before you make your move. So make a list of places
you can eat for free. All of the food pantries. Any programs that offer assistance. There is a winter and summer program
that helps pay for gas. So you will want to ask food stamps about that as they have the forms you will need. If you leave
you are risking losing any claims to the house and if you do not have a stable place to live he could get custody since he has the house. I will be thinking of you and hope your situation gets better soon.