I am in roughly the same boat. He is not threatening to kick me out, but he thinks keeping the new truck (which is in my name) and the new house we’re having built is fair, when I have been a sahm for nearly 3 years and have no job, no place to go, no family or support. I have accepted it is over (took me a while to get there) and I am needing to find an attorney to get me what I am entitled to! You may not be ready to hear it (I wasn’t at first) but get yourself a lawyer. Do not let him call the shots.
Tell you what do not leave the house he can not do nothing if he hurts you call the cops now he is out.
Now change the locks and do not let him back in.
My STBX tried this and she lost and now she is trying to be nice so I can let her in HAHA no way be tuff and you can do it and you will not lose. Hope this helped you out
Bye for now
Contact the Family Service Center on your base.They will help you and help to make sure that the military does run over you and the children. Do not beleieve everything your spouse or his unit/command tells you. They are trying to protect you and as harsh as it sounds the military does not care about what happens to you or your children at all.
[i]Originally posted by freeme[/i] [br]Contact the Family Service Center on your base.They will help you and help to make sure that the military does run over you and the children. Do not beleieve everything your spouse or his unit/command tells you. They are trying to protect you and as harsh as it sounds the military does not care about what happens to you or your children at all.
I would like to see what your professional qualifications for your expertise on this subject. The military does care. In fact, the mere fact that you have pointed her to the family services division of the military shows:
1-They have the resources to deal with this…
2-They feel is important enough to allocate the resources to this.
Please, Mrs. Expert, tell me what other organization that you know of, has better support for the family than the military? I can’t hear yooooooouuuuuu? That’s right…there are N-O-N-E out there!
What do you want, a perfect world? This world is not perfect, however, it would be a better place if people would take charge of their own responsibilities and stop blaming everyone else!
I never said I have professional qualifications. I know from my own experience. My husband walked out on me and the children for another woman after he found out he would not be deploying anymore and did not need the support the kids and I gave him while he was deployed to war zones 4 times and the other deployments,he decided he was not paying anything. The Marines backed him up and still are!
He lives in the barrecks and is getting full BAQ and the kids and I are getting nothing. And maybe I was misguided and incorrect in nameing the Family Service Center because the woman that said she would help us has done nothing.
So if the military has such great support for the family where the hell where they when my children and I were homeless becuase I could not afford the rent on the house he left us in?
I take charge of my responsibilities I am here with my children and trying make their lives better as best I can.
I take total blame for putting my life on hold to be what I thought was a good wife, and that him going to war was serious and that he should have 100% from me and even in his own words he never had to worry about what was going on at home and have to worry about his family,money and wife screwing areound and got through what he said was a living hell like his friends. And this is what the military gives a faithful,supportive wife and children NOTHING!
I am sorry that you have been hurt, and yes, this world is not perfect. Let’s look at the other side of the coin! I was married for what I have considered 14 happy years. Yes, we had our ups and downs but I was a home husband never having to deploy during the last 14 years (lucky).
I am about to retire from the military and I found out that my “beloved” wife has been having a long distance affair with a man from another state. She met him during the trips she took (I paid for all of them) to see her mom, who was “sick” and this is the main reason she was going to her hometown. Well, to make a long story short, she is taking the kids and moving to her home state to “spend time with her mom” (in reality, everyone knows who she is going to spend time with). I am not going to say I was an angel but I never cheated on her and always respected and took care of her. I was a loving husband.
There you have the other side…the military is not designed to take care of failed marriages, they are designed to win wars. They do have resources but a family is a sacred institution that takes more than commitment, it takes the WILLINGNESS to learn, and adjust. This has to be lived by both, the husband and the wife.
I don’t know what to tell you other than life goes on. Look for the one who truly loves you and never told you to get married to your husband (you did). He stood aside watching you make all of those decisions you made, but he never made you do anything! He is not happy that you are suffering and is waiting for you to look to him. He will never let you down and he loves you.
The Lord has given me the strength to face this new phase in my life. I have come to understand that most people (those who have yet to find the Lord) have a hole in their hearts (I was one of them) and they feel they have to fill this hole with another person (having the same problems you have) and when we come to understand that the other person does not fix this “need,” then they go on…to the next relationship.
Now that my wife has left me for another man, I have found Jesus in my heart and know that he has great plans for me. He has filled this hole in my heart! Yes, my wife
You need to be tougher now. You and me have the same situation. my husband abandoned me and my 2 children. Last time I talked to him he said he was helping out his boss’s sister…financially. So, he stopped sending me financial support for four months now. He stopped communicating with me too. Everything is just so hard sometimes I feel like giving up. When I call his phone, his girl friend answers it. I have been trying to get help from everyone I know in the States but I just don’t get the help that I need. It seems like nobodycan help me. All I need is his Commanding Officers number but I cant get it. Its so rustrating being back here in the Philippines. Im used to being in the states working and livingmy life comfortably with my husband. but now things are different. I can not do anything about it. AlI can tell you is to just hang in there and that God is there to cry on.[:)]
First of all, there’s Military OneSource. 1-800-730-3802 . Every phone call will be answered within two rings, by a Master’s level or higher qualified professional. Not by an answering service, and not by some “for blah blah please press one…”. It is a military-wide networking program, which offers everything from crisis counseling and referrals (EAP program gives you 6 sessions to a counselor out in town FREE) to networking to find care for your pets.
Second of all, if you are married to a military member, you have full access to base and to the Legal Center. Not just the family center, but also the Staff Judge Advocate if you are having problems at home.
Third, my husband is an E-8 and he will tell you, in any command, if one of his boys has screwed up, he is obligated to make them make it right. If your spouse or ex-spouse is behind in child support, don’t call his stinkin’ command, have your lawyer or yourself walk a copy of his support arrears paperwork into the Legal Center. They’ll be all over the command in a hot minute to get it taken care of.
I don’t think it’s not caring as much as it is not knowing the full situation. If you call his command hysterical and making wild accusations, you won’t be taken seriously, of course. If you go about it carefully calmly methodically through your lawyer and the SJA, you’ll be surprised at how quickly things get accomplished. Don’t sit on your thumbs and wait for the phone number you’re looking for (or whatever it is holding one back in a particular situation) to magically appear on the back of your eyelids… get out there and move to get it taken care of. Between OneSource, the Legal Center, and your own civilian lawyer, things will happen fast once you get the ball rolling.
Hi! I have been married for almost 4 years. Me and my husband have 1 child together. We have talked about seperating and everytime we talk about it, he threatens to kick me and my kids out. (I have one from a previous relationship.) He thinks because he is the one in the military and with the job, that he gets to call all the shots. He wants to keep everything, have me and my kids move out and him only send me child support. I have nowhere to go. He also has a motorcycle. I have 2 children to take care of. Is there a good chance that I will get the car? Im not trying to be evil or suck the man dry…I just want to be able to take care of me and my children. I dont want to be kicked out of the house with no way to start over. Please give some advise. Thank you.