Wow, you have been on this board for years. You answered some of my past issues and I thank you. I know your ex hurt you really really bad and you have had to “pay” the price. My ex too committed adultry, got her preg, abandoned us on Christmas Eve, been in and out of court numerous times (he is always the plaintiff - the complainer and me - defendant - always defending myself, but inbetween that - with therapy and God’s mercy and grace has gotten me through some very tough hurtfull times and has placed my life on a new path. I recentelly remarried a wonderful man who took my 3 girls as his own, loves them, cares for them, and supports me. He has seen first hand how my ex lies, is angry and shows agression. My new husband was my best friend for a year has stood by me and my girls while in therapy for all the abuse we have endured in the past. There is hope for a better future. I did not sue my ex and his new wife for adultry or press the issue or charges, however they continue to try to make our lives a living hell. I wonder just how it is at their home. In my home there is peace, love, joy and healing taking place. I wish you the best. To allow yourself to be tormented by your ex is just not worth your time. Invest in your future and release your injustice - the system in NC is flawed regarding adultry and this is a no fault state. It seems our society approves it - in which it should not. It is not the Norm- however with divorce at 50% up there should be more people who should take time to get to really know someone before marriage. I was young, stupid, my ex contolled me, hindered me, used me, sexually assaluted me, and then left me. That was the best thing he ever could have done for me! I thank God daily for the bondage I have been set free from. The aftermath has been horrible and affected all the children, however once healing began, then a new future began for all of my family.
My best advise: Stop being a victim and become a survivor.
God bless and good luck!