Convincing Him to Divorce


#1

I am married to a man who has a daughter who is 10 now, she was 4 when he got divorced. No matter what age the child is they will be affected. I have done alot to ensure that my husband has had a meaningful relationship with his daughter, basically if it wasn’t for me documenting and encouraging him to take his ex to court he would have not seen his daughter at all. Even after everything we have done to ensure that his daughter has a “normal” life, she still has issues that need to be dealt with by a professional. One difference between you and I is that I did not know my husband while he was still married. I don’t want to offend you, but you will need to be careful about being sued for alienation of affection if you are seeing a married man and trying to get him to divorce. I applaud your desire to help his son, but I would let him resolve his marriage before you get too involved, you may end up getting burnt either by your boyfriend if he won’t leave his wife or by his wife who could sue you. Just be careful, and encourage your boyfriend to resolve his marital issues before getting serious with you.


#2

I have been having an affair with this man for about 2.5 years. His wife finally caught us back in September. At first she wanted him to stay, then she wanted him to leave, and now she has decided she wants him to stay because of their 1 yr old son. They had a lot of problems in their marriage before I came along…but now he doesn’t have any feelings towards her at all because he is head over heels in love with me. We have talked about a future together and he is teetering on the edge of ‘should I stay or should I go’ right now. The newest part is the fact they are planning on moving out of NC. That would definitely take him out of my life forever and I don’t want to lose my best friend and the guy I’m in love with. I feel that he should divorce his wife because of all we’ve done and what we continue to do despite his wife’s warnings. The only reason he is considering staying with her is for his son but everything I have read indicates one should never stay in a marriage for a child. How can I convince him of this? He knows he shouldn’t stay but he still considers that as his main option. I need a way to prove to him that leaving is his best option. Also, he worries how the seperation and divorce will affect his son. I firmly believe that it won’t, of course I can’t be positive about that. I just feel that given his young age(he won’t remember anything) and as long as we keep the issues ‘hidden’ from him as he grows up, I think it will work out fine for him. Does anybody have a similar situation where they were worried and how it affected their child? Please respond in whatever way you can! My email address is chuck11ss@aol.com if you don’t feel like posting it up on this forum. Thank you for your time!