Defending yourself against Alienation of Affection lawsuit


What are the chances of defending yourself (without an attorney) in a lawsuit against you for Alienation of Affection & Criminal Conversation?

My co-worker (who cannot afford an attorney) has been filed with a lawsuit from my money -grubbing ex - and all he has are FALSE allegations that he has manipulated & blackmailed my dementia mother to testify for him. He has absolutely NO proof - other than her word against his (ours). I also have tape recordings of her saying she’ll lie on the witness stand. I have letters during our 9 years of marriage begging my husband to work on our marriage (showing me & the kids more attention, doing things with us, etc., to no avail). There is no way he can prove ALienation of Affection cause I also have years of emails from various people who I’ve talked to over the years about our problems.

I also have PROOF (pictures with dates & times) of my ex attending a high-class restaurant/bar with another woman (having drinks & dinner), at the movie theater together, and them hanging out in a parking lot until she got in her own car & left. These pics were obtained since our separation (less than a month afterwards). I have as much reason (or MORE) to believe that SHE possibly could be the reason my ex never tried to work on our marriage. He is self-employed and has always been very secretive in his daily routine (worked only when he wanted to) and was very secretive with his phone calls. Could I counter-sue (so to speak) this other woman – or at least threaten my ex (showing him pictures of them together) in an attempt to get him to drop the charges on my co-worker? I feel really bad that my co-worker has been drug into all this mess because he’s an innocent bystander in all of this.

I’ve got an appt with MY attorney next week regarding this, but I don’t know how much he’ll agree to do since he has not been “obtained” by my co-worker. Are there any attorney’s that will work for free unless they win – and then they will take a portion of what they win in the counter lawsuit? My co-worker wants to file for emotional distress, defamation of character, invastion or privacy, malicious prosecution, & abuse of process.

Any suggestions/advice? Isn’t the burden of proof on my EX to prove? And is testiomy from a manipulative, vindictive woman with dementia (which can be proven) enough to prove anything?? I’ve heard where cases like these have been dismissed due to not having enough evidence EVEN WHEN they had pictures of their spouse entering & leaving a hotel with a 3rd party.



Bringing one of these lawsuits costs a fair amount of money and there are few attorneys who would ever consider taking a case on contingency (read: virtually none). I think if it ever went even as far as discovery, your evidence would be plenty to absolve your coworker of any wrongdoing and it would never make court. (The tape recordings are of your mother talking to you, right?) The burden of proof would rest with your STBX. He would need to provide a clear pattern of you communicating with this man in a manner that would alienate your affection. Unless he has several thousand dollars socked away to set up a retainer and begin prosecution, it’s an empty threat.

AA & CC lawsuits, or rather threats of these suits, are commonly brought to exert some sort of financial advantage over the other party. Be very careful about threatening him back because that threat could be used against you, although I suppose you could let it slip about your awareness of his bit on the side.


I have heard that people file these claims in an attempt to gain control/leverage of the spouse. I think that’s EXACTLY what my ex is trying to do. And he will run out of money WAY before he is able to take this to court.

What reasons can you use to ask for a continuance? I’ve heard where defendants of these claims can put off their court dates…and before you know it, a year has passed without really getting anywhere. And eventually it possibly will get dismissed.



While any person can proceed pro se in litigation, I always advise against it, especially when the area of suit is tied to a complex area of the law, which is heavily defined by common law (case law). It sounds as though your friend has a good defense and evidence to support that his actions did not destroy the affection of your marriage, however the existence of the evidence alone will not resolve the case. It must be presented in such a way as to convince a jury.

As for your ex and his relationship, you may of course discuss with him the potential that you may sue this woman for alienation of affection, and share with him the evidence you have of their time together.

When defending an alienation case there is no potential award, so an attorney cannot take such a case on a contingency basis.

The burden of proof is on your ex, and from what you say, he does not have a very good case, however that does not mean he will not continue to pursue it.

Continuances are granted to extend time for trial preparation to complete discovery (requesting documents, taking depositions, ect.).

The best course of action for your friend is to hire an attorney, through the help of friends and family if he cannot afford it.